town full of schizo's.
The town I was born and raised in had a peculiar set of circumstances which made it alot cheaper for the other huge Ontario towns (toronto, ottawa, etc) to send their mentally insane here and put them on medication rather then keep them in a hospital or anywhere they can be observed or otherwise get treatment, so we had/have numerous big city schizo's, paranoids, delusionals, etc, roaming the streets. Let's see...there was one schizophrenic who was apparently a nudist, and at random moments when he was outside he'd get the urge to take off his clothes, and would do so until the coppers made him dress and go back to his apartment. Oh, and when he's in his apartment, he opens all the windows and stands infront of them stark naked and watch all the people down on the street mumbling to himself. He wouldn't touch himself or anything, he just seemed to prefer his birthday suit. There was another fellow who was short and fat, with black greasy hair going to a full face beard thing, and insisted on being called Ringo...umm...a big fat bald guy with a gigantic white biker beard who'd wear brown slacks with brown suspenders, and a soiled white undershirt, who'd push around a shopping cart often full of scavenged junk. He had the worlds most ugliest set of teeth, and would whistle very poorly and off-key, usually saying "you're a bad boy/girl, aren't you?" to people who'd make the mistake of meeting eyes with him. Everybody called him Santa. By far the towns favourite is some woman known just as the nazi lady. She looks rather emaciated, always wearing surplus hospital garments, often accompanied by pink rubber kitchen gloves, with very unkempt hair. She has a rather twitchy walk, and is always muttering to herself, usually about how the nazi's are trying to take over. If one ever says anything to her in german she totally flips out and usually runs to this spot beside a greek restaurant where a building was knocked down several years ago and is now just a patch of gravel, then does what appears to be praying to the white stone side of the greek restaurant. Sometimes she wails on post boxes, once she beat on the side of the bank of montreal building with a hockey stick screaming about them being in league with the germans. By far the most unusual personal experience so far with her has been me with a buddy and a friend of his, walking downtown. Up ahead was a little parkette between businesses, and as we approached suddenly the nazi lady lept out as if hiding behind the wall waiting for us to approach. She proceeded to hurl a holy bible at us, which hit the friends friend square in the chest and fell to the sidewalk, at which point the nazi lady pointed at him and screamed (almost cackled) "Let's see you get married now!!!" then dashed back into the parkette and made her escape through a connecting parking lot. Oh, how I wish I could be making this up.
(Cloven, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:29, Reply)