Last Night In Fact
This story is slightly unrelated, in that it happened near a dance floor rather than on it, and in a bar rather than a nightclub. But I’m going to post it anyway.

We were out celebrating our American friend’s imminent departure from our lovely country to return to his own.

After drinking most of the day, we arrived at a tequila bar, where a shot of tequila with lemon and salt costs just one British Pound.

We have a couple of them; all is going well until Yank (his slightly obvious nickname) asks us...

“Have you guys ever done an angry pirate?”

To which we reply in the negative.

We are curious, we ask him to explain.

“We do it all the time back home. Instead of licking the salt, drinking the shot and sucking the lemon, you snort the salt up your nose, drink the shot and then rub the lemon in your right eye”

I must explain, this idea sounds absurd, there can surely be no possible reason for this, the whole point of the salt and the lemon is to take the taste of the tequila away surely? But we are very drunk, it’s obviously an American tradition so why not?

So we do it.

It’s agony.

But we do it again.

And again.

And again.

And then we started getting the other people in the bar to do it.
It took some convincing, and some practical demonstration, but they do it, and soon everybody is doing it.

The bar staff are in hysterics as all these people are buying shots and then rubbing citrus fruit in their eyes.

Soon, everybody in the bar has one eye closed and are rubbing their noses.

****Wavy Lines To Indicate I have No Idea What Happened After That Bar****

We’re back in my flat, some of our party have passed out, there are a hardcore few still awake, and drinking, we decide more ‘angry pirates’ are in order.

A quick trip to the kitchen reveals we have no table salt, but we have rock salt, and we have no lemons or limes, but we do have fresh orange juice. Result!

We start snorting rock salt, and pouring orange juice in each other’s eyes.

Eventually, we ran out of tequila, and I must say, I’m glad, I’m not sure concentrated orange juice is that healthy, and if we’d snorted much more salt, we’d have sucked all the moisture out of our bodies.

We found out this morning that it is NOT an American tradition, our ‘merkin friend has NEVER done it before, he has never SEEN anybody do it before and he will never be DOING it again.
(Notmo, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 0:21, 15 replies)

As an United Statesian
I can confirm it has never been done in the United States, however, it is tradition to see how many "foreigners" you can convince to fall for this :D
(OMG-Hilarious, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 0:45, closed)

As a hungover Englishman
Well you Co-United Statesian convinced a whole bar of people to do it. Congratulations will be in order next time I speak to him.
(Notmo, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 1:46, closed)

I Just...
spoke to him and he thanks you for the congratulations and wishes you had stopped him from participating, as he blames the whole thing on the Englishmen for actually falling for it.
(OMG-Hilarious, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 7:10, closed)

I thought
That an angry pirate was when you, upon receiving a kiss of an intimate nature from a lady, aim a deposit at her eye and stamp on her foot. She then hops around on one leg, clutching her eye and saying 'arghh.'

I always thought the tequila thing was called tequila suicides. And I shall never, ever ever do them again. Salt up the nose Hurts.
(Foxinsockssir, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 1:14, closed)

That's my interpretation of an
angry pirate.

Bit like a Webslinger, but without cumming in your hand first and slinging it - and minus the foot stompage.

There's a whole lexicon of this shit out there...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 1:19, closed)

I've never heard that one...
... but monkey facing is still, by far the most horrific and hilarious in my opinion
(Notmo, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 1:48, closed)

I'll bite.
What the hell is monkey facing?
(Big D, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 9:56, closed)

Stolen from urbandictionary
Before sex, both participators shave each others pubic hair off. When the male reaches the moment of climax, spunks over the woman's face then proceeds to throw the pubes over said woman so they stick. Thus rendering the woman 'monkey faced'.
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 10:49, closed)

Erm
Donkey punching anyone?
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 11:08, closed)

pwned....
and they say the yanks have no sense of humour!
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 1:22, closed)

tequila slammers eh?
*makes retching sound* had a night not so long ago that contained at least 20 T.S. mexican flavoured vomit ensued. makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I'd rather take 1 in the eye any day!
(MrPokey, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 2:15, closed)

Tequila Slammers
Last time I had a session on them was New Year's Eve 1991 in a bar in Florence. I think I'm just about over the hangover.

The missus is from Texas and she insists that tequila should only be drunk in a margarita (on the rocks, not crushed).
(Capo, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 3:52, closed)

I've heard about this tradition
It's called a "tequila suicide"

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tequila%20suicide

Now i suggest you carry on doing it! :D
( schizophrenic_sheep, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 14:29, closed)

Stuntman
Yup, i know this one. Although by the name of a Tequila Stuntman. Out on a works Beer O'Clock, got quite fucked up and ended up doing 3 or 4 of them... havent liked Tequila since!
(Fishbone-didi, Sat 11 Apr 2009, 9:34, closed)

Now try 'Extreme Tequila suicide'
I have seen a video of some people i know taking this to the next level.

They made many variations, but the worst I saw was as follows:

1) A very generous portion of salt deposited over penis and japs eye!

2) Tequila shot to the eye

3) Wedge of lemon shoved up the poo pipe!

Not sure the bar staff would have been too keen on that version tho!
(Fluffy_Giblets, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:38, closed)