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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well that was a cracking start to the day, wasn't it?
No.
I'm still lolling at that boy who murdered his mum, shouting at his tie.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:10, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
No.
I'm still lolling at that boy who murdered his mum, shouting at his tie.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:10, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I read about that on one of those rolling news tickers whilst eating at Wagamama
As the words "Boy who murdered his mother with a hammer after writing a horror story plot based on a soap opera" hoved into view, I started to wonder just how many chillies were used in my firecracker prawns. I felt like Homer Simpson.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
As the words "Boy who murdered his mother with a hammer after writing a horror story plot based on a soap opera" hoved into view, I started to wonder just how many chillies were used in my firecracker prawns. I felt like Homer Simpson.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
My preferred one of the moment is about Helen Keller's favourite colour being corduroy.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
What did Helen Keller say when she found the cheese grater?
It was the most violent thing she ever read.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
It was the most violent thing she ever read.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
This has quite amused me this morning
Not a type of gravy I've heard of before...
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Not a type of gravy I've heard of before...
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
There's something you might appreciate on /links
www.b3ta.com/links/UNKLE_and_Scratch_Perverts_breezeblock_mix_1999_just_fucking_awesome
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
www.b3ta.com/links/UNKLE_and_Scratch_Perverts_breezeblock_mix_1999_just_fucking_awesome
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Tony Vegas of Scratch Perverts is one of the soundest people I've ever met.
I used to buy records off him when he worked at Mr Bongo and also when he setup his own shop Deal Real. He sold half of his collection to keep the shop going - and I bought lots of it. Fucking superb.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I used to buy records off him when he worked at Mr Bongo and also when he setup his own shop Deal Real. He sold half of his collection to keep the shop going - and I bought lots of it. Fucking superb.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
A more modest and self-deprecating world champion DJ you would struggle to find.
He fucking loves the old drink and MDs too.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
He fucking loves the old drink and MDs too.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Quite the opposite.
A number of records I bought for less than a fiver are worth more than £20.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
A number of records I bought for less than a fiver are worth more than £20.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
no they're not
Vinyl goes for less than a fiver on ebay, regardless of whatever shit obscure band it's by
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Vinyl goes for less than a fiver on ebay, regardless of whatever shit obscure band it's by
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Oh man, and when Jonny Thompson of the Obscure Beavers invested in Stevenson's Ketchup Factory, he gave everyone a BLAH BLAH BLAH
Is there such thing as an obscure band who you don't know anything about and have a personal connection with?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Is there such thing as an obscure band who you don't know anything about and have a personal connection with?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
There's only the four of us about this morning
I suggest we turn OT into Loose Women. So what do you guys REALLY think of Sportscow?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I suggest we turn OT into Loose Women. So what do you guys REALLY think of Sportscow?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
We've done April fools already? What does that cunt want over here?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
i did a card trick on my dad for april fools day and he got REALLY angry trying to figure out how i dunnit
he googled it and still couldn't find the trick (this is because he is old and stupid tho)
wanna know how i dunnit?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
he googled it and still couldn't find the trick (this is because he is old and stupid tho)
wanna know how i dunnit?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
are you sure, it's bloody impressive when i do it
i can pull all of the aces out of a deck of cards, without touching any of the other cards in the deck
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
i can pull all of the aces out of a deck of cards, without touching any of the other cards in the deck
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Yes a few white people do as well
You know, ones that got raped by a black guy
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
You know, ones that got raped by a black guy
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
yeah but not all of them like it's in their DNA or something
Tricky is extremely stupoid
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Tricky is extremely stupoid
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
he told me he was too scared to go to cornwall because of the sharks :(
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
He's right to be scared
A shark killed my brother.
He threw the washing in the bath....sock....etc
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
A shark killed my brother.
He threw the washing in the bath....sock....etc
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
hey wait a minute...
A shark wouldn't fit in a bath
your brother would tho
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
A shark wouldn't fit in a bath
your brother would tho
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I cycled 11 miles to work in the hail and sleet
because I'm fucking hardcore that's why.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
because I'm fucking hardcore that's why.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
hollering
things like 'it's coming right for us!!!' and 'MY EEEYYYYEEEEESSSSS!!'
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
things like 'it's coming right for us!!!' and 'MY EEEYYYYEEEEESSSSS!!'
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
*accepts punch*
Only heard of it for the first time over the weekend
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Only heard of it for the first time over the weekend
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
to be fair, it's a good job nobody assesses our mental health based on what goes on here
al and his googly magenta cocks. monty and his family sexual fantasies. battered and his rage. darth and his dancing. freefair and his tory rape. psychochomp and the world's fucking ugliest jumper. bobby and his multiple personalities. quentin and his - quentin. etc etc.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
al and his googly magenta cocks. monty and his family sexual fantasies. battered and his rage. darth and his dancing. freefair and his tory rape. psychochomp and the world's fucking ugliest jumper. bobby and his multiple personalities. quentin and his - quentin. etc etc.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
swipey and her fantasy of being a SATC lawyer.
she's a 47 stone crazy cat lady from Sussex called Joan.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
she's a 47 stone crazy cat lady from Sussex called Joan.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
believe me
not one person would fantasise about being a lawyer. i am spending my morning researching what exactly constitutes "sharing occupation" by group companies. clue: it's not what you think. being a 47 stone crazy cat lady sounds infinitely preferable.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
not one person would fantasise about being a lawyer. i am spending my morning researching what exactly constitutes "sharing occupation" by group companies. clue: it's not what you think. being a 47 stone crazy cat lady sounds infinitely preferable.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I'm sorry, if you were a real lawyer you wouldn't be fucking around on here so much.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
firebox have a range of t-shirts with guitars on them for just this purpose
i nearly bought one for monty
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
i nearly bought one for monty
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
is it air guitar if you need a prop?
damn your eyes t-shirt manufacturers, is there no imagination left in the world?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
damn your eyes t-shirt manufacturers, is there no imagination left in the world?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
you're getting all technical on me now
i'm more of an air-recorder type. cooler than air-triangle, but not in the same league as air-guitar.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
i'm more of an air-recorder type. cooler than air-triangle, but not in the same league as air-guitar.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
he was a damn sight better than some of the others
like the one who leapt up mid-shag when the doorbell rang and said "that'll be my mother" (it was about 8am on a sunday. why?). or the one who quite literally could not get it in. i don't think he'd ever had sex OFFLINE before. and of course the one who shat the bed.
i think liking a bit of manlove pales into insignificance!
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
like the one who leapt up mid-shag when the doorbell rang and said "that'll be my mother" (it was about 8am on a sunday. why?). or the one who quite literally could not get it in. i don't think he'd ever had sex OFFLINE before. and of course the one who shat the bed.
i think liking a bit of manlove pales into insignificance!
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
So better rephrased as Swipe and her inability to find herself a normal boyfriend.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
well.... yeah/no/kinda
i took care of her when she was ill last week, and now i'm ill but she's not taking care of me
we're going back to mine for lunch today, i guess we're just keeping things casual
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
i took care of her when she was ill last week, and now i'm ill but she's not taking care of me
we're going back to mine for lunch today, i guess we're just keeping things casual
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Some cunt has come in to work looking like shit and sniffing and coughing everywhere
I told him to fuck off home but he says he won't get paid because he already took loads of time off work after a crash and has no sick leave left. Now everyone else is calling him a twat and saying they don't want to get ill over Easter weekend. I'm probably fine because I have my own office, orifice and hail and sleet.
Is my life interesting or what.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
I told him to fuck off home but he says he won't get paid because he already took loads of time off work after a crash and has no sick leave left. Now everyone else is calling him a twat and saying they don't want to get ill over Easter weekend. I'm probably fine because I have my own office, orifice and hail and sleet.
Is my life interesting or what.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
it's not about the winning Battered, it's about the LOL swearing and just joining in.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
it's rare i get to look down on everyone in a single thread
i'm taking a photo of this momentous occasion
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
i'm taking a photo of this momentous occasion
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
I'm sorry that tourettes wednesday ruined your internets Q :'(
FUCKWANK!!!
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
FUCKWANK!!!
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
O< ----- I'M A PENGUIN AND I LIKE FUCKING SNOW. HOW DOES IT FEEL? COLD!!!! HONKLOL
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
i had a CRACKING start to my day
my new upstairs neighbour set the damn fire alarm off at 7am. thankfully, i'd already been up since 6:15 and showered so i went and turned it off. probably should have knocked to make sure she wasn't unconscious on the kitchen floor next to a burning chip pan, but it was two flights of stairs, and i was in my pants. figured the last thing she'd need after a sudden shock like that was me and my trusty moose knuckle.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
my new upstairs neighbour set the damn fire alarm off at 7am. thankfully, i'd already been up since 6:15 and showered so i went and turned it off. probably should have knocked to make sure she wasn't unconscious on the kitchen floor next to a burning chip pan, but it was two flights of stairs, and i was in my pants. figured the last thing she'd need after a sudden shock like that was me and my trusty moose knuckle.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
i'm already saddened
by the fact i missed a blatant opportunity to increase the number of women who've seen at least the outline of my junk.
and she's a 'merkin. that would knock another country off the list, a biggun too.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
by the fact i missed a blatant opportunity to increase the number of women who've seen at least the outline of my junk.
and she's a 'merkin. that would knock another country off the list, a biggun too.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
well played sir
*narrows eyes*
*contemplates saying 'third after both our mothers'*
*thinks better of it*
*slinks away*
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
*narrows eyes*
*contemplates saying 'third after both our mothers'*
*thinks better of it*
*slinks away*
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
i haven't worn a tie
since the last time a friend got married. i won't be wearing one again until the weekend, for the same reason. same tie as well. my wedding tie. it's a beauty.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
since the last time a friend got married. i won't be wearing one again until the weekend, for the same reason. same tie as well. my wedding tie. it's a beauty.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Fuck me Loafy you lead an epic life
I expect they will find you hanging from the banister by the same tie when you realise just how pathetic and miserable your useless life is.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
I expect they will find you hanging from the banister by the same tie when you realise just how pathetic and miserable your useless life is.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
yeah, it's pretty tedious
the regular socialising, the freedom to do what i like due to almost complete lack of fiscal and personal responsibility, .. the varied and fulfilling sex life.. living in a nice flat by the sea.. i don't know how much more i can take. i'm one jammy dodger away from a complete fucking breakdown :D
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
the regular socialising, the freedom to do what i like due to almost complete lack of fiscal and personal responsibility, .. the varied and fulfilling sex life.. living in a nice flat by the sea.. i don't know how much more i can take. i'm one jammy dodger away from a complete fucking breakdown :D
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Good tickets?
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1579297
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1579298
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1579297
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1579298
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I wonder what would happen if you make mashed potato, really buttery and creamy, then froze it in ice cub trays and then deep fried it into chips.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Frozen potato is still potato
not ice. The problem with ice/water is the instant boiling and spraying hot oil everywhere which catches fire and kills the lady living upstairs from peteloaf
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
not ice. The problem with ice/water is the instant boiling and spraying hot oil everywhere which catches fire and kills the lady living upstairs from peteloaf
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
i'm an oven glove fucker's son
and i'll keep on fucking oven gloves
til the glove fucking's done
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
and i'll keep on fucking oven gloves
til the glove fucking's done
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Innuendo link
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-17604412
Featured places include Stainmore, Wetwang, Ladybower resevoir and, brilliantly, the Hole of Horcum.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-17604412
Featured places include Stainmore, Wetwang, Ladybower resevoir and, brilliantly, the Hole of Horcum.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
You missed Little Wood
which could mean a small erection you see. And by erection I mean erect penis and not a tent or something like that.
Get it?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
which could mean a small erection you see. And by erection I mean erect penis and not a tent or something like that.
Get it?
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Someone who is not me who actually has an interesting question
Please make a new thread, this one is shit.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Please make a new thread, this one is shit.
( , Wed 4 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
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