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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Moving on.
It's lunch time, whats for lunch you lot????!?!!??

LUNCH!
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:34, 200 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
l8rs

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:34, Reply)
The board has received a invalid response.
Please try again.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:36, Reply)
YM!!!!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:36, Reply)
It's not lunchtime for another ten minutes and I'm starving.
You've just made me feel worse.

Edit: Eight minutes, by the time I'd posted this - you see this hunger is making me too weak to type quickly.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:37, Reply)
YAY!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Chicken, rice and peas

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Thank you for treating the lunch thread with respect.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Needs more fried dumplin' and ackee and saltfish.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:44, Reply)
with melon

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:51, Reply)
and lots of Red Stripe.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Lamb salad.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:43, Reply)
What's in a lamb salad?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Fresh mint, cucumber, quinoa, slices of cold roasted lamb and a yogurt & lemon juice dressing.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Sounds good, not a big fan of cucumber but I will allow it.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Provides a contrasting texture and works well with the yogurt dressing.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:49, Reply)
chicken and sweetcorn sandwich.
Oh you don't like sweetcorn? Don't care.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:44, Reply)
I do like sweetcorn. I also like chicken.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:44, Reply)
I also have some more swirly millionaires shortbread for "pudding"

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Meh, shortbread is my mums speciality, and so I've been forcefed it since birth
not a fan.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:51, Reply)
but this has swirly chocolate on the top and a delightfully skewed caramel to biscuit ratio.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Meh, I'm not a girl I can do without chocolate.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:57, Reply)
I've got a banoffee pie at home like that
Has come out looking an absolute disaster. Still tastes good, mind.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:00, Reply)
gaswank?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Is that an offer?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:48, Reply)
prick

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Twat.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:50, Reply)
wanker

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:51, Reply)
GOTEAMGB

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:51, Reply)
GTGB!!!!!!!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Anthem?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:48, Reply)
WRONG!
honest to god chompy you're worse than hitler
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:52, Reply)
EGG & CRESS SANDWICH
Hen's egg, in case you were wondering
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:51, Reply)
duck or GTFO

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
*ducks*

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:56, Reply)
what sort of cress?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
green
always green
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
i read that wolverine/jean grey/scott summers thing.
Fuck you.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
That's not even the worst one
Let me know if you've the stomach for it, and I'll show you horrors that are beyond human comprehension.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:54, Reply)
do it.
Shock me.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Sorry, only just saw your reply
Hope you see this:
www.toplessrobot.com/2009/07/fan_fiction_friday_the_pokemon_story.php
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Oh my fucking christ on a bike with added stabilisers and a seat cover.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:38, Reply)
Yep

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:39, Reply)
you know what.
I regret asking.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:47, Reply)
There are others

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:57, Reply)
oh fucking proper fucking office lolz
"He ran a hand over her leafy posterior. A probing finger slipped in between, finding a hole. He knew little of the Gardevoir anatomy, but knew that any hole would work. He plunged his rock hard cock deep inside of her anus. It was white hot. A wave of pleasure washed over him before the first stroke. Gardevoir screamed in pain, her precious anus being pulled to four times its natural size"

WTF?!?!?
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:40, Reply)

"n strode the doctor the nurse had called for earlier. Her father.

He stopped, shocked at the situation that unfolded in front of him.
"W-What are you, what are you doing to my little girl?" he murmured.
"Shut the fuck up you old bastard and get the fuck over here, her mouth isn't going to fuck itself!" David shouted, forcing his voice above that of nurse Joy's. She was horrified that her father had walked in on this, horrified at all the blood and what she had been coerced into, but she couldn't stop. Lust raged inside of her, overtaking all other motor functions.

"Fuck me, daddy," she said, grinning a bloody smile. Her pleading eyes met his and before she knew it, her father's wrinkly, liver-spotted dick was in her mouth.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:41, Reply)
hahaha, fucking hell.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:44, Reply)
It's given me the raging horn. I've got such a stonking boner on the go it needs planning permission.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:46, Reply)
A human being wrote this

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:42, Reply)
oh man, makes BM look like a productive member of society.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Steak and chips.
Mustard.
Pint of Beer.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:51, Reply)
You fucking bee poof
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:52, Reply)
well brenda if you just stick the butt plug in and smack his balls it should work.
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:54, Reply)
This is what people like, I think
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:55, Reply)
often I like to stare into my guinea pig's eyes and guess what he's thinking, I bet he's thinking about cardboard.
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Inappropriate in a fun, family environment
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Totally not what she wanted to hear.
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Ho ho....she's a cunt she is

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Do you think David Cameron wears briefs or boxers?
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Oh boy, he certainly wouldn't be quite so frightening would he!
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I like the fat one with the sad eyes
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:23, Reply)
The problem with the cripples is that they don't WANT to work
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:33, Reply)
If you rape a pokemon does it count?
/ac
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:41, Reply)
proper lunch there pigster.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
i' e done loads of work today,
Totally earned it. Pit the beer order through, ordered some wine for the ladies, sent 4 emails to bookings, sorted out a band for Saturday night and played at least 10 games of freecell.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:57, Reply)
still no wank?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:58, Reply)
no. :(

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
ffs pigster, sort your life out!!!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:05, Reply)
What cut of steak?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
They all taste the same.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
savage!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Not entirely correct.
Fat content influences flavour and the level of fat varies dependent on the cut.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:56, Reply)
prick

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Twat

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Cunt

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:03, Reply)
wanker

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:05, Reply)
quender

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:21, Reply)
just a little minute steak.
Light lunch.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Well if it's a minute steak
then of course it's little!
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:55, Reply)
*roflcopters*

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:55, Reply)
LOL HAWK DOWN!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:56, Reply)
MAYDAY MAYDAY! LMAO1 IS HIT!!!!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:05, Reply)
You win.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
What kind of mustard?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Tracklements beer mustard

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:55, Reply)
That's a new one, not heard of that before.
Any good?
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:57, Reply)
tasty nyomnyomnyom
www.tracklements.co.uk/products/mustards/beer_mustard/
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:00, Reply)
Tracklements RUN TINGS
Their Hot English is THE DON DORGON.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
i think i'd agree with you if i understood a word of what you just said.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:03, Reply)

www.tracklements.co.uk/products/mustards/strong_english_mustard/
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:09, Reply)
It's OK, Chompy
I've eaten now and feel much better.
It was Paneer Pepper Fry, Dal Kabila and a Chapati.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Indian cheese is rank.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:57, Reply)
I rather like it.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I find it to be too sweet.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Thank god for that!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 12:58, Reply)
It's not all good news.
This appears to have merely whetted my appetite and I'm now considering nipping to the shop to supplement my lunch.

I@LL KEEP YOU POSTED!!!!
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
LISTEN UP, 'THE INTERNET', I'VE GOT THOSE WAKI NEW BEANS ON TOAST FOR LUNCH.
They're....


Waaaait......


.....

OK.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Are beans on toast new? Or have I missed a meeting?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
You fucking have. I'm talking about 'Heinz 5-Beanz', brah.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:03, Reply)
The internet tells me that they are "BEANZ FOR GROWN UPZ"

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Thanks, I'm updating my bean blog

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I have just seen a text message on my phone sent at half past midnight.
From Stunned: In arse cab.

I think this means he had a good time at the volleyball.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I believe this is so.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:09, Reply)
if they ever make a new series of men bahaving badly he's a 'nailed on' certainty

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Herring in Tomato Sauce

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:02, Reply)
just the one herring?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:04, Reply)
No

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Is it just me, or does this seem unbelievably heavy handed?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19059127

There must be more to it, surely.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Yes

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Phew

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:07, Reply)
good thing I didn't tweet that I was going to chuck his father's corpse off a diving board
and that it would have more chance of winning a medal than him.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Baldmonkey tweeted Piers Morgan saying he hopes he dies in a plane crash
While he was at the airport. And that fat prick still walks free.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:12, Reply)
It was an absolute disgrace.
I hope BM gets charged with causing the july the 7th bombings.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:15, Reply)
He's worse than a hundred 9/11's

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:17, Reply)
worse than hitler bumming bin laden while being rimmed by pol pot.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:22, Reply)
As disgusting as that is
He is worse
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Send him to america instead of gary
saying unpleasant but true things on the internet is far more serious than hacking the pentagon 'looking for ufo's'
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Gary Wilmot's being sent to America?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:13, Reply)
AWOOGA!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Listen TH - he's been rude to TEAM GB.
By my reckoning that's High Treason and the SICK INTERNET TROLL should be in the Tower via Traitor's Gate forthwith.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Well quite
Seems to me that Team GB has a massive squinney girl-pants on its books.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:14, Reply)
You know what those gays are like.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:15, Reply)
He also said he'd drown him.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:14, Reply)
But he's an olympic diver
That's like threatening to bury a worm.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Toast with marmalade.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:06, Reply)
I keep thinking that I must like marmalade
but then I have it and don't enjoy it. What's that all about?
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:07, Reply)
too orangey for crows

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:09, Reply)
Maybe you're buying crap marmalade.
In my opinion, it should be very dark orange indeed, with lots of lovely peel, and only slightly sweet with bitter undertones.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:13, Reply)
It's the bitterness that I don't like, you see
But you're right...I should maybe try a really good one before I make my final decision.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Ahh, then you need a sweet marmalade with no peel.
Try Golden Shredless OrangeĀ® Marmalade from Robertson's. Not my cup of tea at all, but could be just the thing for you.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Top preserve advice there
Thanks very much, I'll check it out.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:24, Reply)
This one is good:
www.thejollygourmand.co.uk/store-cupboard-essentials/jams-marmalade/tarset-valley-marmalade?zenid=anj9o1sgpae3fdbg3sf7llr810
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Not too expensive either

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:26, Reply)
It's a good low-risk marmalade induction strategy.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:27, Reply)
That's right up my alley
I need a very light introduction into what is, after all, a preserve-based minefield
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Blimey, that looks good.
I fucking love marmalade even more than Marmite, and I'm very keen on Marmite indeed.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Did you try the XO Marmite?
Not that great, I thought. The champagne one wasn't brilliant either.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:41, Reply)
I think that means you're a repressed homosexual.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I must admit, when I look at a jar of Robinsons
The first thing I think is 'that golliwog must have a lovely big cock on him'
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Once you've had Robinsons, you never go back.
You know the saying.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:19, Reply)
I sure do
Better than most, in fact
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Do you then marmalade your cock up the golliwogs ass?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Well...no

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:21, Reply)
and they have such a natural sense of rhythm too

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:20, Reply)
You know who I like? Michael Jackson

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:21, Reply)
I like that actor that does all the films with the nice face, morgan jackson, something like that

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:24, Reply)
I'd like him to read me a bedtime story I would

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:25, Reply)
oh no dear, couldn't let them in the house!
can't be bothered to hide all the good silver and you know what they say about them down there don't you?
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Hahah
Oh man
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:30, Reply)
that's some good old fashioned racism right there

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:37, Reply)
You're thinking of Morgan Harriott.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:25, Reply)
You know, the one who was married to Dawn French.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Chris Akabusi?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:29, Reply)
That's him - from Gladiators.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:40, Reply)
He was also BRILLIANT in 'Red Dwarf'

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:42, Reply)
*gamesroomlols*

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:31, Reply)
I'm tyred of that joke.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:41, Reply)
I can't explain that, because I quite like it.
When I have it I really enjoy it.
Perhaps you could think about that next time you try it?
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:17, Reply)
In the hope that your enjoyment may cancel out my revulsion?
Well it's worth a try
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:19, Reply)
THAT'S BREAKFAST, OH GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:09, Reply)
It's definitely lunch.
I can tell, because it's lunch time, and I already had my breakfast at 9 o' clock.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:12, Reply)
I bet you had a baked potato for breakfast didn't you YOU MONSTER

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:20, Reply)
marmalade is grim

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I had a low fat tuna and sweetcorn sandwich
It was shop bought and not very good. Whenever I make tuna mayo I use tuna, mayo and vinegar. This is the tits right here. Is the vinegar optional for everyone else?
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Not optional, just an abomination.
I thought tuna was automatically low fat. I wonder where they fished for anorexic tuna?
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:16, Reply)
No, silly, it's the sweetcorn that's low fat.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:18, Reply)
It is indeed. It's an option I'd never take, though.
I think this is because I'm not some freakish God-cursed Legoland motherfucker with PVC trews and a vinegar problem.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Whatever else life throws at you, you can always hold on to that thought.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Brine, water or oil?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:18, Reply)
ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU LEGO FREAK.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Your sandwich is all gay

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Just left arse cab.
Volleyball is awesome.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:17, Reply)
sandwiches and I bought some baby shoes
exciting stuff!
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:17, Reply)
NONCE!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:21, Reply)
sexy sexy baby shoes

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:22, Reply)
chicken chorizo chilli wrap
/ac

It's from Tesco and it's... alright. I also had a bag of McCoys Chargrilled Chicken and a Crunchie.`

Tomorrow I shall have things beginning with D.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Dick?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:23, Reply)
like DICK !!!!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Dung, diapers, dropsy and a dildo.


OR DICK!!!!!!!
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Duck tape?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:24, Reply)
ARGH

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Duck dumplings and a Double Decker?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Okay you've talked me out of it
I might go for B instead - Burrito, Bacon Crisps and a Boost.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:25, Reply)
BALLS?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Boys' buttocks?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:26, Reply)
A boys buttocks burrito perhaps

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Bert Monkeysex?!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Dustin Hoffman?

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Dexter Fletcher from 'Press Gang'?????

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:26, Reply)
Probably shouldn't say this
But I've just given two 5 year olds permission to play with my diddly bow.
It sounds like the world's coming to an end.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:24, Reply)
we've all been there.
I got mmps jr some nerf guns and that big darth maul lightsaber for his birthday.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:26, Reply)
Christ
Hide EVERYTHING breakable
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:27, Reply)
TOO LATE!!!!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:29, Reply)
PAEDO

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:36, Reply)
CURSES
This is EXACTLY what I didn't want to happen!
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:40, Reply)
trust a frenchman to think of that!

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Scrambled eggs with double cream,
mushrooms fried in butter, smoked salmon and pak choi.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:41, Reply)
THAT'S a lunch.

(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Am low carbing, innit
Haven't eaten as well as this in years.
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:03, Reply)
I'm low carbing too
My Herring fillets were nowhere near as exciting as your epic lunch
(, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)

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