I've just been to get the shopping.
Standing at the checkout in an almost empty supermarket, I let out the most evil noxious fart ever. Just me and teh boy on the till, pretending that it never happened. I may have been a touch red by the time I left.

Evening, everyone.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 19:51, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Lies
on the Internet.

Women don't fart.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 19:53, Reply)

There ARE no women on the internet.
Everyone knows that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 19:54, Reply)

Fanny farts are hilarious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 19:56, Reply)

*queefs*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 19:57, Reply)

My thumb is starting to feel better, thanks for asking.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:02, Reply)

Oh, thank heavens.
i was so worried.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:06, Reply)

I had to cut some of the nail off. Being a macho type I used a Stanley knife.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:10, Reply)

How incredibly manly.
Is microbattered terrified of daddy's black finger?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:11, Reply)

She and the Mrs are at her parents until Thursday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:15, Reply)

Retarded move Batts
The heated needle would have been a better idea, Get the booster jab.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:12, Reply)

Sterilised blade.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:15, Reply)

Ok this I need to know how?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:16, Reply)

Boiled a brand new blade in a saucepan, covered the pan, waited for it to cool. Then put clean kitchen gloves on to fit the blade back in to the knife. Heated the blade up until blue with a lighter, waited for it to cool slightly and then used it.
Edited due to iPad keyboard.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:23, Reply)

+the pain I'm in

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:38, Reply)

Much less pain than I was in. Released the pressure. Swelling has also decreased.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:40, Reply)

Booster jab?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:40, Reply)

Had one 6 pr so years ago. They're valid for 10 years I think.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:42, Reply)

Yep they are.
That it for me tonight dinner calls
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:43, Reply)

I
once went out with a girl who could queef at will.

Quite the party girl, she was. But not the turn to show off at a do with aunts, uncles and grannies.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:26, Reply)

you stinkin' whore

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 19:57, Reply)

Well, that's nice.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Home Sweet Home
Not like the check out area you left
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:03, Reply)

well, that cap seems awfully snug on you...
other than being a guff monster, what's up?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:05, Reply)

*steps away*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:05, Reply)

Nuthin'
You?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:06, Reply)

i saw some music and some crazy things and some mud at the weekend
and experienced an awesome new beverage: brandy chai
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 20:15, Reply)