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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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WOO HOO, YEAHHHHH!!!!!!
It's only a FUCKEN NEW THREAD!!!!!!!

How fucking cool is that? Tell us about something else that's well smart.

Alt: Tell me about a lol that happened on here in the past two weeks, if indeed there was one.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:03, 155 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I came back...
then I went away... then I came back again.

Now I'm eating Tangfastics, they're pretty smart.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Sweets are well bent.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)
You couldn't be more wrong
You're more wrong than Steve McWrong from Wrongcastle in Wrongshire.

You bloody gorm.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)
hi there Edmund

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)
:-P

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)
:-P
*snogs*
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Maybe I am Edmund!?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Do me a favour and break his hand, would you?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)
But I need it for fiddling with my bits

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:29, Reply)
You need Naked Ape's hand
for fiddling with your bits? Does DiT know about this?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:30, Reply)
He knows all
He's like BraveStarr, he has the ears of an elephant (in a hearing capacity, I don't mean that he has massive ears)
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:32, Reply)
Weird

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)
Kids and grown-ups love it so,
the happy world of Haribo. You curmudgeon you.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)
because adverts are legally obliged to be 100% truthful

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Of course...
what are you saying you mad man?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:21, Reply)
i had some tangfastics the other day
some of them had been on the carpet
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)
5 second rule?
Or were they all fluffy?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)
5 second rule?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)
food dropped on the floor is okay as long as you pick it back up before 5 seconds pass
Some people adhere to a 30 second rule. Fat people, usually.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)
Don't be silly
fat people don't drop food, it's food that's trying to escape.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:29, Reply)
Drop it and pick it up in 5 - a-o-kay
Drop it and pick it up after 5... no good.

Obviously if it falls in poo/petrol/puddle... you re-evaluate.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
It's not rape if...

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:39, Reply)
i had to remove an errant pube

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)
*grims*

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:26, Reply)
I do this by spitting.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)
and i appreciate that, pookie

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Fuck you man
I only just got back to my thread.

No way has it been two weeks. Fuck off again, yeah?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:10, Reply)
I would LOVE to.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:13, Reply)
Well, I'm going to the pub tonight, that's pretty smart of me.
I haven't been around for the past week, I decided to do non internet things. Like life. You have a good holiday?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:12, Reply)
It was OK.
My ex suggested I book time off so I could see my daughter before she starts school. And then didn't let me see her.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)
Have you considered killing her?
The ex obviously.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:15, Reply)
Once or twice*



*a day
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Her mum is dead posh innit

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)
Oh gosh yes.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)
So is your ex a posh bitch, stuck up, thinks the world revolves around her etc etc

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)
She's a fucking peasant from Kent.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:31, Reply)
I HATE KENT

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)
You and me both, dawg.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:43, Reply)
+ an unhinged psycho nutjob.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)
Alright mate?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:43, Reply)
Not bad, ta.
On the first leg of my chickenstock journey.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:49, Reply)
MY new jumpers are well smart, the fairisle one is best i think

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)
Oooh fairisle = fancy
Aren't you toasty in that!?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)
I'm planning ahead because winters a coming
It was pitch black at 9pm last night :((((((((((((
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)
Haha that's very organised of you!
True, the darkness is coming - hurumph.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)
I'm a pikey T K Maxx shopper now that I'm poor due to mini ape
thus one must buy when one sees something
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:21, Reply)
Haha
I don't go in the stores because they scare me, but I do keep an eye on their website - that's where the good stuff is (and by 'good stuff' I mean handbags).
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)
The womens section is madness, men's is simpler
i have two excellent pairs of sunglasses (carrera and police) from there, £12 and £20 respectively \o/
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:26, Reply)
There is much for the ladies
Some slutty, some not so slutty!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:30, Reply)
I want an Icelandic jumper.
They are lovely.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)
I expected far more derision than this

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Sorry, I really am out of practice.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:32, Reply)
I'm on holiday next week and half the week after.
You're all going to miss me terribly.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)
<a href="http://www.tumbleweed.com">www.tumbleweed.com</a>
haha actually there really is an australian company called that.

why? who thought that was a good name?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:30, Reply)
It wasn't a question.
It was a statement of fact and thereby requires no response. Its veracity is incontravertible.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:31, Reply)
she hates you more than she hates me, Kronebone.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)
She doesn't hate me at all, Dozy.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)
just me then.
*cries*
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Afraid so.
We were actually talking about you the other day. She called you a prick. Sorry, mate.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:39, Reply)
oh man.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:42, Reply)
"she" hates cheapskates, tedious dullards, illiterates and shit-fucks
if you are none of the above, you are ok. if you are all of the above, you should do the world a favour, cut your bollocks off with a rusty razor, and bleed to death through the crack.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:39, Reply)
By "she"
I obviously meant the cat's mother viz.: you.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:40, Reply)
2 and 4.
What does that get me?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:43, Reply)
sympathy

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)
and getting called a prick, offline.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)
you're going to believe kroney?
oooook then. hope that works out good for you.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)
A job managing a leisure centre.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:54, Reply)
I've just put on my OOO!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)
I'm putting mine on in two and a half frigging hours time.
God. Ages.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
the last fortnight has been ghastly
Biggest lol has been ignore 2.0 an ting.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Your shirt is ghastly
please tell me it's a "washed out" or "light" turquoise?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:31, Reply)
light.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:32, Reply)
Sorry, I got distracted
Yes, I'm fine thanks Montezuma. Yourself?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:31, Reply)
Been worse I suppose.
My daughter's favourite music is ska so I plan to take her to Notting Hill to see Gaz's Rockin' Blues sound system on Sunday, I'm really excited about that.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)
ROOOOOOOD!
Yeah, that'll be cool. Enjoy!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:36, Reply)
Will do, brah.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Alt: Plumdozer's hamster passed away
and Al made a mildly amusing pictorial tribute, as is his wont.

Can't remember anything else as the Popular page has been reset.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:32, Reply)
:'(

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:34, Reply)
New Charlie Brooker show this weekend.
It looks good.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)
That last one he did was bollocks I thought.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:36, Reply)
That one with Jimmy The Artful Dodger Carr
and Lauren Frogeye Laverne?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Nah those short films he wrote.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Oh right.
The thing I was thinking of was shit, too. You can see how I'd get confused.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:45, Reply)
Indeed.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)
THe one about the prime minister fucking a pig?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Yup, I thought they weren't very good at all.
and I had fairly high hopes. He is considerably better at pointing out things which are shit than he is at writing things which aren't.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:41, Reply)
He only wrote the first one.
I thought the thrid one, about the people with inbuilt cameras in their heads, was the best of the lot.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:42, Reply)
I'd given up by then.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:46, Reply)
UNNNNNNH
YOU IDIOT

they didn't have cameras in their heads, they had devices in their brains that recorded everything they saw through their EYES. OMG I CAN'T BELEVE UR SO STUPID
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:01, Reply)
This one looks more police squad like
it's called a touch of cloth.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:40, Reply)
Sounds much more like it.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:41, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
thats funny you see, because "touching cloth" is a reference to pooing your pants, whereas "a touch of frost" was a popular police drama starring David Jason. And "a touch of frots" was all about that time you were rubbing up against your "girlfriend" on a bus.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Why do you hate everything?
sky1.sky.com/a-touch-of-cloth/a-touch-of-cloth-trailer
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:43, Reply)
I don't know, it doesn't look that great.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Don't watch it then. No skin off my nose.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Ah I saw the ad for that, I couldn't take it seriously
after they announced the name
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:44, Reply)
I don't think you're meant to take it seriously.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:45, Reply)
I thought it was a Serious Cop Drama
Turns out it's a spoof. I might give it a go.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:46, Reply)
'Sup
Series link it! :)
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)
That smiley means
"do what I say now, if you foget you're dead"
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:48, Reply)
Nah
I'm being nice to him as it's our anniversary week... next week I'll go back to making demands until he starts digging up the patio!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:49, Reply)
I started yesterday, as it happens.
Thank god we finally got a garden waste bin.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Fred West lolz

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:03, Reply)
You fucken series link it.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:48, Reply)
It's only a two parter.
please don't get divorced.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:49, Reply)
If we do get divorced it's your fault.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:51, Reply)
I concur

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:52, Reply)
I DONT WANT TWO HOUSES!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)
We broke up because of you, you know.
Everything was OK between us til you came along. You were an accident.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:56, Reply)
But you have the app
bumder.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Is there an app for "shut it, woman"?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:52, Reply)
I'm going to pay for that one later, aren't I?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I've just punched myself in the goolies, hope that helps.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Don't worry
I'll come up with something.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:58, Reply)
Probably

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I couldn't decide if it was supposed to be serious
or more like Vexed, I did only see a teaser trailer though!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Bugger.
I usually try so hard not to rise to shitty internet commenters. But I've just caved and called almost everyone posting on the Metro's FB Lance Armstrong story an idiot.

Well. They are.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Link please
then go away.

kaithxbai
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:39, Reply)
In fact, don't worry about the link.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Monty!
I totally seeing you tomorrow. Isn't this the best thing evah!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:43, Reply)
Are you going to be playing guild wars 2?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:44, Reply)
WE SURE ARE!!!!!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:45, Reply)
THEN IT WILL BE THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)
I'm totally going to see him tomorrow, too!
I'm going to see you too. There will be a BIG lock on my tent.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:45, Reply)
See you fucken Jimmy, pal.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Hoots mon!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)
oh you cunt
i'm going to be singing "hoots mon there's juice loose aboot this hoose" now.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:48, Reply)

There's juice loose aboot this hoose!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:54, Reply)
worse than horses

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)

l + c
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:48, Reply)
It's my tent
If they want you that badly, I'm going to kick you out!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:07, Reply)
It sho' nuff is!!!!!!!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:46, Reply)
OMG ME TOO!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:52, Reply)
THIS IS SO COOL!!!!!!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:04, Reply)
It's so cool it pisses beer and shits ice cream.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Gosh yes.
And its bogies are made of diamonds.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)
I took it down.
Although replaced it with something that turned out only marginally less insulting anyway. It seems I can't help myself. I must have a low idiot tolerance today.

it's on the Metro Ap, you'd need to sign up for it to see it anyway.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:50, Reply)
I am officially on holiday motherfuckers!!!

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)

on holiday motherfuckers!!! a bent spastic
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)
It's good to have you back

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)
I'm sorry.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)
No you're not, not even a little bit

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:14, Reply)
I'm sorry you were born.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:18, Reply)
Everyone is fucking off home...
I might just slip out.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)
boys/barracks

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)
When somebody leaves you, you just lose a friend
But when you left me babe, well, it was the end
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:30, Reply)
It was indeed the end.
It was the end of Gremlins II, if I remember correctly.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Really?
Well I didn't know that
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:33, Reply)
What're you up to this evening Hatso?

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Dunno actually
Couple of beers and a fillum probably. Life in the bus lane m'man.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:40, Reply)
I'm already on my second beer
Yay for Beer Friday!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:41, Reply)
Nice

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Better yet
I was looking for a wineshop on the way home and it turns out it's Barolo Friday at Uncorked by Liverpool St Station. Free Tasting!

\o/

I'm assuming they can't force me to spit it out.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Shit, that was in March
I need to learn to read.

*studies website some more*

Instore tastings:
Occur most Fridays from midday on a very informal basis, with four wines open to taste and are an excellent way to explore our range over a period of time. We often show new arrivals and sometimes even seek feedback for wines auditioning for a place on our racks.

That'll do, pig, that'll do.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Quiet one for me, too.

(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:44, Reply)

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