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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck it's boring on here today.
Got any jokes? Got any gossip?

Got a good lunch you work-shy lazy fucks?
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:21, 156 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Bob Holness played bass for Blaggers ITA.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I remember Blaggers ITA
I liked "Oxygen". That was a good song.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Famine Queen is also good.
I understand they're still going, in fact. I'm pretty sure they played some punk festivals this year.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:50, Reply)

pretty sure they played some punk festivals this year a complete fucking spastic: please, for the love of God, kill me
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Really?
I've not been able to find a copy of that album for any price.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)

been able to find a copy of that album for any price got you on ignore and it's becoming clearer and clearer with your every post that this is most remiss of me.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:05, Reply)
You're being an awful bully

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:09, Reply)
No, I'm being a superb bully.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Debatable.
Obsessive repetitive whinging and crossouts is hardly Gripper Stebson territory.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Cock off shitnose.
Alright bag.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)
There was no louise after all
I'm beginning to doubt whether Quinton was called Gary in real life as well. This is well upsetting
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:25, Reply)
It's a shame he's been stepped.
I used to enjoy his office updates, even if they were entirely made up.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:26, Reply)
OMG STOP RUINING THE DREAM
it's like I too was part of the A team with trick and malc and gary and louise and some bird from accounts
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Don't forget kerazee Kev!

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:32, Reply)
*pours one out for fallen homie trickie*

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:34, Reply)
I liked Jackie BigTits the best

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:36, Reply)
\o/
and his raggedy old MILF
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Who was the classy blonde bird?
Tracey? Stacey?
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Sasha 4EVA IN R HARTZ

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Sasha Wellytop

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:40, Reply)
That's the one.
Poor Quentin, unrequited love :(
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:41, Reply)
He's not dead, just on a

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:38, Reply)
You'd think if you were going to spend cash on gold teeth you would buy straight ones

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:39, Reply)
I don't get the gold teeth thing.
It just looks like they're in an advanced state of decay.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:42, Reply)
God you're SO un-street!

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:45, Reply)
No wonder I always end up with hoodrats
instead of those fly bitches
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Innit doe

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:59, Reply)
That's Tricky all over.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:42, Reply)
BUT WHOSE TATTOO WAS THAT??

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:31, Reply)
IFUCKINGWELLNOE
how am I supposed to put any credance into anything written on these boards ever again
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Bill Clinton is now a Vegan
:(
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:29, Reply)
he'll always be a racist though

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Nah he supports Obama now, so it's ok.
He gave a very good speach last night.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:30, Reply)
why couldn't Hess be rehabilitated like that

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:36, Reply)
He was just Rude(olf)

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)
i had a cupcake for breakfast

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Classic internet brekkie.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:32, Reply)
Lunch for me

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)
I sure have:
1. You're a sex tourist
2. Ken Hom is a sex tourist
3. YOU ARE KEN HOM
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:31, Reply)
Is that why he's calling us all Wok-shy?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)
*canned laughter*

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Oh very good.
'Chineess food doesn't have to be greasy. If it gets dry, just add a liddle rice-wine'
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:34, Reply)
I have tried rice wine. I have a bottle of it at home.
It doesn't matter whether it's room temperature or chilled, that stuff is fucking filthy.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:52, Reply)
It's more for cooking if you ask me.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:55, Reply)

me anyone
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:59, Reply)
Have you ever had Ice Wine? That stuff is amazing.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Yes.
Canadian ice wine is excellent.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:02, Reply)
hahaha!
101 Ways to Wok your Dog
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)
4. Ken Hom is French?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)
+o

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:34, Reply)
I heard that 'A Vagabond' poster was a fucking spastic.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)
I agree.
You know your meat, help me make a decision
www.bembrasilrestaurants.com/menu.php
would you go for lunch, lower selection of meat for £17.50
or dinner loadsa meat but £25
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:35, Reply)
This isn't even a question

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Is this a rhetorical question?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Is it
Is it?
IS it
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:39, Reply)
See that's true, but most of the meats I'm looking forward to are on both menus.
The exceptions are pork ribs, Chilli Beef, and Prime Brazilian Pork Sausage. Can I eat £7.50 worth of those three...
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Of course
You are an internet fatty
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:40, Reply)
You will find yourself disappointingly full much quicker than you'd like.
It's gutting.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:42, Reply)
That's the problem innit,
Might have to do some training.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:43, Reply)
I'd actually go for lunch as I am skint-o.
Lusty took me to a similar place for my birthday two years ago - I'm sorry to say that it wasn't as good as I'd hoped. Different firm though, this one might well be great.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:41, Reply)
I'm pushing towards lunch, but I also have a feeling that it might wipe out the rest of the day.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Definitely factor in a lie down for a bit afterwards.
I went for lunch but I bounced back in late afternoon through the magic of DRUGGES.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:45, Reply)
This is no longer rumour, it has passed into accepted wisdom.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:35, Reply)
My friend Gav died from heartburn today.

I can't believe Gaviscon.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:35, Reply)
I hope you're ashamed of yourself.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Your blind one was better

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)
I heard a joke once:
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:40, Reply)
I dun a sad

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:40, Reply)
If there's one thing I like in my jokes
it's an ironic observation on the futility of man.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:50, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/7550029
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I have hiccups :(

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:53, Reply)
BOO!

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:56, Reply)
I hope they are fatal.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:00, Reply)
Seems a bit tight, mumps, if I'm honest.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Proably a heart attack then
HTH
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:07, Reply)
I had Scotch broth and some crackers.


Not my best joke, I must admit.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Pretty salacious gossip, though

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I will not reveal my source.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Today's was Cholula hot

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:06, Reply)
My lunch today is an apple
Mmmm, fasting.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)
I have a ham sandwich with mustard and lettuce.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I had a ham sandwich with ham

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:07, Reply)
ramadan's finished man.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I hope they have a ding dong when it is

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:06, Reply)
I think they have a super hard pray then blow up an american embassy.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Nowhere near as fun

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:10, Reply)
*fasting fist bumps*

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:11, Reply)

+ing bumps
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)
WHERE'S QUINTON

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:09, Reply)
Sorry Rory
He's dead
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:10, Reply)
CALL HIM AND HE WILL COME
... BEST LEAVE IT A WEEK EH
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:11, Reply)
RIP Q
We love ya
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)
you know he's reading all this and wanking himself silly at all the attention
why do you want to turn him on so bad, why?
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Happy finish

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Highest suicide rate of all the Scandinavian countries, actually.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Probably to do with the price of beer

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)
yeah but he's the truth fairy innit.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)
They are all dead!
dead!
DEAD!
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)
My voilin just arrived !
But the trouble is, when I tune it, the pegs just go back to however they were before, it's not holding. If I keep holding them they're perfect though.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)
what colour is it?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)
White !

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:40, Reply)
use a claw hammer to tune it for the first time.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)
or fire

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I was being srs :(

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I know they are tuned in 5ths

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I don't know where I'd get one of those =(
I masturbate like a bear fishing for salmon with it's claw, is that close enough?
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:41, Reply)
this hotty should help
www.youtube.com/watch?v=byau0C5je5Y
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Ace ! Thanks !

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Chicks dig thoughtful violin playing
bet that crack whore from the pizza place would wank you off gratis just by you showing your instrument of passion to her like next time your down there
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)
OH BOI !

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:41, Reply)
You have to push them in once you have tuned them to the correct pitch.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:30, Reply)
Ahhhhhhh, sweet. I'll try that later

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:41, Reply)
OH MAN, I CAN PLAY NOTES NOW !

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
When you are bowing, try to aim your bowing hand towards your nose.
That will help your to keep straight.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:04, Reply)
yes, but we had a good meltdown earlier in the week, that's more interesting than it's been for months
yes

alt: mmmm, 125 cal peanut bar and 1 litre of evian again for me.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)
I missed it all
:o(
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)
oh? what happened?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Yes, but I wasn't HERE

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:26, Reply)
knock knock

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)
come in

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Idunnup who?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)
'Scatly

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:26, Reply)
how many times eely, use the bell.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)
THATS WHAT HE SAID

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Forgotten your key again? Oh YOU!!!

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:34, Reply)
It's the police coming to tell me my parents have been murdered.
:(
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:37, Reply)
No jokes, I'm terrible at them. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Gossip wise? um. Um. I'm considering going blonde for summer. never had blonde hair before.

I had vegetable thai salad for lunch. was good thanks.

Now I'm sitting in my pants and old teeshirt pouring over my textbooks...hoping I don't fail tomorrow!
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:40, Reply)
What was in your vegetable thai salad?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:42, Reply)
THAI VEGETABLES YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:45, Reply)
capsicum, brocolini, cucumber, bean sprouts, chilli, noodles, garlic, cashews and onions. And coriander.
Why?
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:45, Reply)
It sounded nice
OK?!
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)
Vegetables, stoopid.
She doesn't live in the North West, not all salads are chips.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Good job I dont either then

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:48, Reply)
East. Soz.
Pedant Geordies.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Pedant Mackems please

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Haha. I thought you might be.
I recall that you travel to work on the Newcastle "underground"?
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I do indeed
Hence my 20 min delay this morning due to "A metro on the line"

Well, duurrr.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
"The Metro links NewcastleGateshead with the rest of Tyne and Wear and has been rated as one of the UK's most efficient rapid transport systems."

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:56, Reply)
+but not by its passengers
It's hardly as complicated as the London Underground, yet trains are cancelled/stopped far too often
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)
I was surprised how big the line is. How long does it take to get from the Airport to, say, Tynemouth?

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:59, Reply)
It's about 2 mins per stop
Airport to South Gosforth is about 20 mins then another 20 to Tynemouth after changing Metro
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:14, Reply)
Carrots and shoelaces

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)
this is VERY witty

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:59, Reply)
it's really not.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:00, Reply)
I see.
Tie salad. Stick a knot in it, PC.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:00, Reply)
'Poring', dear.
Unless you mean you're urinating on your books. Which would explain the 'pants' and the 'outside' bits I suppose.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Boring, dear.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)
Whoring, queer.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:49, Reply)
Scouting, for Girls.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Or unless she's melting.
It's quite hot in upsidedown land
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:48, Reply)
it's not that hot yet.
only 18 degrees today. Tuesday was amazing. 24, sunny. Ahh. Spring. Can't wait for summer.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:59, Reply)
No. Poring. I'm tired. Thinking about chemistry more than English at this point.
I'm not one for urinating on things that stress me out. I am not a puppy.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)
nope,
Beans on toast. I have a cold, send drugs.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:00, Reply)
*monty screeches up in his drugsbulance*

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:01, Reply)
can't send drugs.
can send a half drunk bottle of cider though.
(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Cash up front mate.

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)

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