Seeing as its Thursday and we're waiting for the QOTW to change.
Talk about your biggest dump here in this filthy thread :)
(Miggyman, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:00, 16 replies)

timely
I dominated a huge one this morning. it was like a grenade launcher into the pan I tell you!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:04, closed)

wider than it was long
and it was pretty long
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:08, closed)

Not one of mine
A few years ago in the Burke and Hare in Edinburgh's Grassmarket, there was a turd of epic proportions, you would have thought someone had backed a horse into the cubicle. People were taking pictures of it on their phones. The person who laid that particular cable would have been walking like John Wayne for a few days.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:10, closed)

@Kia
I read that as "Bukkake and Hare".

I need help.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:18, closed)

At school
some dirty c*nt took a shit in the urinals in the boys' toilets. It was a thing of wonder, about the size of my arm. It was swiftly christened The Millenium Dump, and throughout the day kids were sneaking in and out to gawp at the titan with a mixture of fascination, horror, and awe.
We never did find out who was responsible.
(jennymnemonic, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:20, closed)

^^
You never know what goes on in the back rooms of said pub. Some very ropey looking strippers in there.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:21, closed)

@ancrenne
Ninja'd.

*grumbles about transliteration*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:30, closed)

Filthy f*ckers.
It takes a seriously dirty bastard to shit in a urinal. I've never encountered it but my brother who works in a bar in London has seen it twice in 6 months.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:32, closed)

I worked in Burger King
and some of the chav twunts would regularly shit on the floor, in the sinks etc
(quagarr, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:37, closed)

I once was staying for a few days with a lass I knew
when she was working abroad for a year.

She is a vegetarian. So I ate vegetarian food for several days.

My digestive system didn't take too kindly to this. In one 24 hour period I shat 4 (four) times. And not just little rabbit purls either. No, they were proper big cowpat-sized piles of steaming badness.

Farted like an old horse for days too.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 10:59, closed)

When I was in High school, we were taken to a land refill site as part of a school project
That was probably the biggest dump I've ever seen...
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 11:11, closed)

I can beat that
I have been to New Jersey
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 11:28, closed)

I achieved the Holy Grails the other day
Large, nice texture, satisfying, and no wipage required. Nice!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 11:45, closed)

Festival
Used to frequent the V festival a lot. Seriously objected to using the "facilities" at the festival so I used to dose myself up with Diacomp (anti-diarrhoea medication) and only eat one burger a day. Fine, didn't need to go - problem solved right?

Um no, actually. By the time I got home on the Monday I was seriously blocked up. One year I spent about an hour on the loo trying to coax a turd the size and consistency of an artillery shell out of my back passage.

Eventually it came out, but was so massive it totally blocked the toilet. No wonder - it filled the pan, for christ's sake! Took some, ahem, "persuasion" to flush.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 11:56, closed)

@BK
The true Holy Grail would have been one that also disappeared round the U-bend without any flushing.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 11:58, closed)