doctor revenge
There's a doc at our hospital all the nurses loathe. He's rude to us, mean to the patients (he dislocated someone's hip one time because he was too impatient to get her out of the stirrups before he moved her) and an all around asshole. He once said, "That makes me want to go home and get my .45" when we didn't wake him in time. I told him it was a good thing I wasn't working that shift because I'd have called 911 on his ass. Needless to say we don't care for one another.

He would never get properly suited up, but would come in to deliver babies in his street clothes, which is highly unsanitary. This day he came in wearing his new Italian leather loafers "they cost 250 bucks!" without socks and a nice suit. My friend Dina and I were assisting and right after the baby was born, we whipped the catch pan out and stuffed it under the bed. The placenta came out and fell right on to his shoes. He screamed in anguish and we bent down to "help" him. I shoved one shoulder into the back of his knee and pulled his shoe off. Then Dina did the same on the other side, forcing Mad Ivan's bare foot down into the placenta. Squish!

It was great. We exclaimed, "Oh, we're so sorry, Dr. Ivanovich!" and wiped at his bare feet and trousers, smearing placenta all over him from the knees down. He danced around in the blood and ick for a bit and finally stopped kicking at us long enough for the junior doc to help clean him up. Hee, hee. Don't piss off the nurse, ever.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 15 May 2004, 3:55, Reply)