Revenge Part 2
Introducing the Loser

This is not really my story but that of my best mate Simon, but I was involved in a lot of it.

Simon found himself sharing a house with his girlfriend and the brother of her best friend from school. His name is Shaun. Twenty-something and still a virgin, loves morris dancing and wets the bed when drunk.

One day Shaun and Simon are asleep, camped out in Shaun's van after a heavy boozing session, neither sober enough to drive. Middle of the night, Shaun gets up for a piss, all over Simon's sleeping bag, well the feet end anyway. Simon vows revenge.

The small "acts" of revenge are too numerous to list but some of the best:

· finding Shaun's car keys one evening and unlocking the car before lifting the rear mats and pissing on the carpet. Locked car, replaced keys.

· pissing on his razor and toothbrush regularly.

· putting loads of porn mags in his room when his mum (the landlady) was coming round to change the beds

· writing the words "fag smuggler" in the dirt on his car when he went to France to buy some cheap smokes to sell to his mates.

· pissing in the air intake on his car.

· supergluing his bedroom door shut while he was in it, having locked the window and hidden the key.

He eventually moved house, so the attacks have become less frequent, but Simon's brother has pissed through his letterbox on at least one occasion.

Revenge is best served warm and steaming!
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Sat 15 May 2004, 23:32, Reply)