Damn you petrol stations, DAMN YOU!
I was on my way home form uni today when I thought it would be a nice treat if I where to purchase some food stuffs from the patrol station near by. I decided upon a carton of orange, Mexican wrap, packet of crisps and a Branston pickle cheese and cracker rip off box snack. I took said items to the till where I got asked if I would like a bag "Yeah go on" I say as he proceeds to scan a bar code on his desk. Turns out the bastard charged me 5p for a carrier bag, that's 5 of my British pence for a fucking plastic bag! Not that I am bitter or anything. Then it came as a further shock that the total for the 4 items mentioned above came to just over £10.
And to make matters worse the carton for my orange juice smelt of fags! I felt better after throwing a Molotov cocktail through the door on my way out.*


*Might not be true
(Rt Hon Quargflax, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 23:48, Reply)

Marriage - the ultimate rip-off
Ms x-borkey was immensely sweet during the dating stage but once we were married she made clear that she viewed her income as her personal pocket money only to be spent on insanely expensive luxury consumables such as perfumes, designer clothes/shoes only worn once, exotic flowers and deluxe chocolate boxes (at prices high enough to feed a average Darfur family for a month) wheras my income was solely for necessities like food, rent, electricity, insurances, phone bills (hours of her endless gossiping) and even her taxes. Trying to discuss this with the silly cow only ended in 'you told my dad you'd support me' arguments.

I put up with being ripped off in this fashion for a couple of years but when she cheated on me with a mate I realized after the initial shock that the worst thing I could possibly do to him was to let him have her - in full knowledge that he had a whole lot hotter temperament than me. Lo and behold, less than a year into their marriage during a row over money he beat her so badly he got 6 months in jail and she grabbed his apartment in the following divorce.
It took me a year or so to get my economy back on track after her leaching but that twunt is still homeless. Guess I ripped him off in a backwards sort of way.
(borkey makes meatballs just like mum, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 23:45, Reply)

another one for the igloo in les gets
Yes! It really is shit. We were also the only ones in there (so we thought) and the drinks were warm and expensive. The turning point came when one of our party whilst in the gents, witnessed a really fucked up looking german girl come in and start doing lines of coke off the sink.

In fact, now I think about it, going to clubs and getting ripped off seems to be part of the experience. 3 quid for a bottle of shit beer? Come on...
(midnight rapist tocajamón, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 23:40, Reply)

Saw somebody else mention GAME, so i thought i'd chip in...
Got a new graphics card for my old pc a while back and now that i could, thought i'd get Halflife 2 and give it a go, being a fan of the original. Picked up the "Game of the Year" addition box, took it to the till , they nipped off and popped the disc in...away i went all happy...got home..opened it up...no manual, no security code, the disc was the standard version not GotY and was all scratched to buggery.

Next day, took it back...obviously a mistake..they do sell pre-owned games sometimes after all...."Nah mate, can't take that....there's no manual or nuffin, it's the wrong disc and it's all scratched"

Shockingly i was less than impressed. The retard of a manager wouldnt see sense so i put in a very miffed call to their customer services who couldnt be more helpful. They couriered out a copy to the store for me to pick up the next day along with a stern telling off and very strict instructions to the manager that it was for me and me alone.

Nowadays i dont buy games from there or if i have to i make a point of opening them in the store in front of the manager to check, worth it jsut to se his face every time.



length - check
girth - check
abysmal punctuation and questionable spelling - double check.
( mooglemania Please disregard this sig., Thu 15 Feb 2007, 23:03, Reply)

overspending
or shopping in HMV as it's commonly known

why didn't you people who found stuff cheaper elsewhere just go back to the original store and get your money back citing "found it cheaper elsewhere" as your reason (not that you need one as shops have to refund you if the item is still in a saleable condition)

worked for me a few years back, got a 2cd version of summat for my brother for £5 less than the 1 disc version HMV were selling (i'm gonna miss music zone)

still, wish i'd held out for half an hour longer when i bought those 5 lighters for a pound. could've got 6 damnit
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:56, Reply)

I just come back from Paris...
Some fine examples are ....

6 euros (£4) for half a pint.

15 euros (£10) for sausage and chips

4 euros (£2.40) for a 500ml bottle of coke

Done? Like a fuckin' kipper I tells ya!
(Laxly, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:50, Reply)

ripped off by the same shop...
I was buying my video games from my local store one day, nd so i bought this 360 game for about 45 euros (those 'tards who dont know that convert it!). I then proceeded to my next port of call, another games shop (geeky) which happened to be the same brand of shop i went to (french brand called micromania). i started looking through its games, and lo and behold, the same 360 game for half price. i told the fuckin cunts who ran the shop, hu then told me that as we were on a different lvl in the shopping mall, different rules apply...

To top this off, after this fuckin ripoff, i got mugged of my last ten euros on the train on the way back... pisser...
(Tranny G was a badger, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:50, Reply)

travel woes
While travelling in the UK a Canadian friend stopped at a currency kiosk to get change for a hundred pound note. The guy behind the desk looked solemnly at him and said, "sorry, this note is fake. I can't give you change for it."
Having got his money from a bank, my friend demanded the note back and after some fuss about fake notes having to be reported to the police, etc, the clerk gave it up.
At a nearby bank, my friend confirmed what he suspected; nothing wrong with the money, just a clever scam.

…of course, he then spent his 100 on a tiny room in a B&B in London, so in the end he did get ripped off rather bad…
(nabi, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:46, Reply)

Some blokes knocked on my door offering to do me a cheap drive
and like a dam' fule, I let them start.

Turns out they were 'travellers', ie mobile ripoff artists, and were planning to tip inferior tarmac about a quarter of an inch thick over my front garden.

I realised in time what was going on and sacked them off, after they had levelled the ground.

They couldn't do anything except threaten me, which I didn't mind as I had innocently taken photos of them (and their vehicles) and the police were on standby, rubbing their hands.

I faced them down, and they pissed off. Had no comeback so far.

Their boss's face was a picture. He said, 'But that means YOU'VE cheated ME!' which spoke volumes.

Juan 1, thieving travellers 0. Result.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:41, Reply)

£2 quid for a pack of condoms
That's 66.6(recurring) pence for every posh wank I have.
(Fatima Whitbread's hardon drugs and the causes of drugs, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:40, Reply)

Tricks of the trade..
When I took over my first pub, I found a few strange things that the previous landlord had instigated as cost saving measures....

For a start the gin and vodka never seemed to get anyone pissed for some reason....there was a nail hammered into the control panel of the heating meaning it couldn't be turned up past igloo level, and he had printed off price lists 5p more expensive than the real price the brewery had set and disconnected the till display that the customer can see meaning he was earning a fucking fortune each week.
But the best was the 3x2p pieces he had superglued in the bottom of all of the manual spirit measures meaning nobody ever got anything like a full tot of a top shelf spirit.

Absolute genius, and although i was professionally appalled by such chicanery, when I bought new spirit measures, i made sure that they got lost each Xmas...
(airliebird Has now found Twiglets in Sydney!!!!!!! yay!, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:40, Reply)

Movies..
I love them they are great so, I decided to buy some of course.

I'm going to take you back a bit, to went I was earning money lawfuly, like a proper bloke. I din't know what to do with the money I was walking down a street in London and how convineient HMV i thought I love movies i've got about 500 quid in my pocket some friends I haven't seen for a long time coming over for the weekend.

I walked in to the shop confidently pick about 54 movies (the money wasn't enough had to use the credit card).

So you might think were is the rip off right, well next day just walking around in the city looking for somewere nice to have breakfast
I find somewere nice to sit next to the window and what do I see across the street, HMV and on the window a sign saying "up to 50% of movies"

I'm not telling you what I did next!!!

Length??? Go **** **** ***
(DeTimmy you'd better be sorry!!, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:25, Reply)

I dont mean to sound like an old man
but I went into a vietnamese supermarket in Brighton for a pint of milk, 60p! 60p! I was astonished! It was also clearly off the milkman.
( HelloIamAdam and Adam is my name, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:24, Reply)

Anyone remember Britannia?
Save money by subscribing my arse. I think the average price I paid for a CD was fifteen fucking pounds. The only upside is that I feel totally vindicated pirating music now.
( Peregr1n @peregr1n, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 22:20, Reply)

GOOD 'OL STRIP BAR STORY HERE FELLAS......
we (me and sanjay, bless him) went to some wanker fucking shit-pit strip bar in soho, had a £10 pint of warm lager (like the guy a few paragraphs down), felt ripped off so we went to leave. they woulndt let us out. the stupid fucking pensioner slag who let me in demanded her £45 "service charge", which was met by "fuck off" said not-so-politley by me. then some massive russian matey said if i dont pay now perhaps we can settle the matter round back.... i paid. cunts. dont go there guys, its at the end of old compton street down the alley next to the peep show.
(mr kyle he's a silly bastard, the one who posted before me, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:52, Reply)

I feel ripped off
Neither apethingy or frankthingy have posted anythiny yet


I just wasted my b3ta virginity, didn't I?
(parker larkin is an experiment, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:44, Reply)

Speakers (for jvgreen)
Ahh, the speaker scammers.
The first time I saw them they were in a parking lot with, of course, their white van. They had microphones and were telling people that it was a radio station promotion. If you said the name of their station, you'd win these $400 speakers. They didn't find anyone who named their station. So they said they had tried all day, failed and were willing, though they shouldn't, to just sell the speakers off for pennies on the dollar. Two weeks later they pull up to me and tell me that they were employees at a large convention center, that the specs changed on installation of expensive speakers so their boss told them to sell off the ones they'd previously purchased. I told them they worked for a radio station the last time I saw them. They shrugged and drove on.

Later I looked them up. They are famous and everywhere. see, for instance: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_van_speakers
(thatguyjoe, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:39, Reply)

Luxor museum giftshop
Having been warned about street venders selling shite relics and artifacts, my wife and I decided we would only buy a memento from our trip to Egypt from a reputable source. On visiting Luxor museum we saw the gift shop and knew this was it. Obviously inside the museum the quality of the ornaments were significantly better than all the toothless bastards were selling in the bazaars. The Captain on our boat had primed me with the fact that black statues in Egypt are made from basalt but you should always check that it is carved from a solid piece and not from powder poured into a mold. To do this you should check the base for small bubbles. Armed with this information I approached the shop manager and asked to see his lovely bust of Tutankhamen in his window. On picking up this superior piece of craftsmanship, I turned it over as instructed by my trusty teacher, in order to see if there were any of the said naughty bubbles in the base. On seeing me do this the shop manager said 'ah you are a man of knowledge I can see but do not worry yourself Sir, this is Luxor museum and we only sell top quality merchandise'. It was top notch, I knew it, he knew it and even his mankey cat which ate flies knew it.

This man knew he was dealing with a pro but I was still amazed how easily he caved into my hard bartering technique. £12 I got it for and I'll never forget him saying on my leaving his shop 'ah Englishman you break my heart'. The Arab buffoons had met their match.

On getting home my trusty and prize King Tut, my wife decided it was a little dusty and decided to give it a wash. After three scrubs with soapy water, the black colouring started to come off and after 10 minutes scrubbing all was revealed. My pride and joy King Tut effigy was in fact carved from an 'effing house brick that had been dyed with boot-polish. What made it worse was it said "made in Leeds" on the back.

It’s so shite an ornament that it’s ace and has been given pride of place in my home. It is my homage to Western gullibility and prejudice.

No apologies for the length or girth as I am Welsh.
(Monkey Festerer, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:37, Reply)

56p
56p for a normal six stick pack of orbit chewing gum at a service station. I couldnt afford anything else so I may as well have the refreshing taste of mint in my mouth.
( spaceage, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:35, Reply)

I've just been made redundant.
After doing the maths, I reckon they've paid me three months wages to get rid of me. I never did any work to begin with.

They should be feeling ripped off.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:33, Reply)

Just yesterday...
I recieved a text from "cupid" saying for the paltry sum of 30 cent i would find out who fancies me!!!1! So i barrelled forward and replied in the affirmative.

But something smelled fishy...
1. Noone I know is stupid enough to fall for this.
2. Noone I know is stupid enough to fancy me.
3. Noone i'd want to "Get with" as the text oh so elegantly put it, would be stupid enough to spend €5.60 trying to find out who fancies them.


Noone. Not one person.

Except me.
(Mark3y needs to put some welly in to it, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:32, Reply)

Mmm, still bitter...
£4.50 for a single vodka and red bull in the 100 Club in London. Fuck's sake.
Of course, my vow to never buy a drink there again lasted all the way until I was next there.

On a similar note, Seetickets are fucking cuntybiscuit wankers. 3-5 working days is not the same as a fucking month for you to refund my money.
(and now for someone completely different, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:31, Reply)

Airlines try...
....but fail. Yesterday I was at the travel agent, booking flights from Auckland to Manchester. So ive just spent NZ$1440. Dublin is my ultimate destination and they had a go at selling me a flight from Manchester to Dublin for NZ$170! I know that I can book this flight online for 3 Euro. Even tho Ryanair are shite.
(spent.fish flipping and gasping, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:28, Reply)

eBaying for fun and profit
Bought an Aphex Twin T-shirt off the Warp Records website a few years back.

They accidentally sent me two.

Put the spare one on eBay.

The winning bid was ten quid more than it cost to buy directly from Warp.

Double win! (^_^)

Moral: check first whether that eBay 'bargain' really is a bargain...

[Happosai]
( Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:24, Reply)

Pr0n
Many moons ago I (drunkenly) subscribed to "Red Hot TV" - I figured with 4 chanels (or whatever) here would be SOMETHING worth watching...

And the £20 of magazine vouchers you rceive were for more, erm, specialist art pamphlets: 20p off "Fat and 50".

Still bitter.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 21:12, Reply)

not me but a "friend"
was leaving Best Buy and spotted an attractive young lady eying him down in the parking lot. She came over and started up a conversation, my gullible buddy was very delighted at acquiring her attention. Then her rather large and scary "boyfriend" shows up and she asks him if he would like to buy some speakers. He says doesn't have enough money in which she suggest he can go to the ATM. Before he can refuse, she's in his passenger seat and they're off to the ATM with her rather large accomplice following in a creepy white van.

50 bucks for a set of speakers he never uses. Doesn't even have the right kind of stereo. Never even hooked them up. Any one ever heard of London Audio?

He's a rather sensitive fellow so we never made fun of him to his face. aren't we sweet.
( Krog3r has acquired some deceant lurkage, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 20:49, Reply)

best nightclub ever
is the 'Igloo' in Les Gets, France.

All the bars there are pretty expensive, so we were used to paying 5 Euros for a pint.

We thought we'd try the Igloo, the only nightclub in town, for a laugh. As we walked in the music and lights came on, we were the only suckers there.

Bought some drinks, 8.50 Euros for a 330ml stubbie of Heineken. £5.70. No girls, crap music, and they wouldn't even let us go upstairs and climb on the furniture.

When we left we tried our best to throw a 6inch banger(a firework, not a sausage) at the bouncers but we only managed to get it onto some poor tourist's balcony. Those things are loud.
(horrid, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 20:49, Reply)

scottish power
switched from scottish power in november (after moving into the house in august) our final bill came at the end of november for 3 months worth of electricity: £700, they admitted their mistake and said they would send a correct bill but not before we got letters from bailiffs and the county court demanding £700. they finally called off the hounds and sent the correct bill last week along with a bill for the month of july for £500

im still trying to figure out how that much electricity could be used in a month especially since the house was empty that month im thinking it involved a lot of badgers (my mortal foe, im from the country) dildos and rechargeable batteries

ladies love the length but they go gag-gag for the girth
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 20:45, Reply)

i have
a black ford fiesta for sale
(fwack bang on it, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 20:41, Reply)

99p
99 fucking p

for 4 metres of wrapping paper


99 fucking p

fucking sainsbury's well and truly ripped me off

edit: to the bloke above me, it best not be the one that got nicked from outside my house. ;)
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 15 Feb 2007, 20:37, Reply)