Sterilisation
Men who put their wife/girlfriend through the ordeal of having their tubes tied should have the soles of their feet walloped with a broom handle. If you're looking at this course of action, then man the fuck up and go get the snip. Providing you wear the support stocking thing, you're up and about after an hour or so.

Also, when you lob ropes over your partner's face/tits/back/arse etc, your harry monk looks exactly the same as it did pre-op.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 11:36, 37 replies)

crap
i've had the snip, and i would NEVER recomend it. it was the most unpleasant experience of my life
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 11:49, closed)

Then you had a shit doctor.
Was it keyhole surgery and neat little stitches, or did he use rusty bulldog clip, or two bricks or perhaps a Breville sandwich toaster (which would leave an attractive scalloped pattern.)

The clamp to stretch the skin out pinched a bit, but the worst part was when he severed the pipes, which momentarily felt like he'd flicked my bollocks, but it only lasted a few seconds.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 11:59, closed)

One of my mates had a bad experience
when he had a vasectomy.

The stitches became infected and one came out, opening up a hole in his scrotum through which he could see a bollock.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:03, closed)

He probably ignored the doctor
when he was told to wipe it down regular with some watered down Savlon or something.

Plus when returning to have the stitches removed, I had the opportunity to point the nurse out to Mrs SLVA and say "she's seen my testicles, you haven't"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:11, closed)

had to have 3 anaesthetic boosts
felt like someone was squeezing my nut in their fist
bruised up that day
and i was unable to climb stairs for a week, my nuts, perineum and shaft went purple and my scrote swelled up massively
was still in actual pain a month later
still managed to 'test' my equipment though (and regretted it)
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:57, closed)

Does it really look the same?
I always wondered that. You know, if the tadpoles are missing, does it change colour or consistency or whatever.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 11:50, closed)

Not at all
The fluid is that consistency to start with, so the removal of swimmers makes no difference. Not that I've noticed anyway.

Though it is less salty I've been told.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 11:55, closed)

Does the victim lose sexual appetite?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 11:59, closed)

Good god no
if anything it's the opposite. I don't know if that's because neither of you are worrying that she may get pregnant. Also, (get your mind bleach ready) I seem to get aroused far easier much to Mrs SLVA's amusement, consequently she doesn't leave me alone.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:00, closed)

I agree with SLVA
Hurt a bit, but worth it; bareback for the win!
(kitescreech still here, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:02, closed)

Another vote "for"
The worst bit, like a dental filling, was the injection of the anaesthetic. Took about 30 minutes all in. Take paracetamol regularly for a few days, and it's not even very uncomfortable.

It's still slightly odd having your dangly bits poked with a soldering iron, though.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:32, closed)

soldering iron
My doctor gave me a running commentary. Apparently, he cut a short 4mm length out of each pipe, folded them back on each other and stitched them, thus removing any opportunity that may allow them to grow back. The injection didn't bother me, the clamp on the skin was worse and the severing of the actual pipes.

Plus, having it done earned me many brownie points with people who all thought it was a noble thing to do. As opposed to browneye points, which is something completely different.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:52, closed)

I don't get it
As long as they use "keyhole surgery and neat little stitches" what does it matter which one of you has the op? Why shouldn't women who force their men to have a vasectomy be beaten on the soles of their feet with a broomhandle?

Or are you being deliberately sexist?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:05, closed)

Well,
a: That's the point of the QOTW

b: It's a simpler process for a man, in my experience far less of an ordeal than getting a tooth filled. Whereas a women has to spend the night in hospital and there is a greater chance of complications. Would you really want to impose that on your Mrs if you could achieve the same thing with an easier operation?

As someone else said, bareback for the win, especially considering that a woman can't take the pill for ever, and condoms are just fuck awful.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:16, closed)

Well, yeah, obviously
But I think you're way off on this, I know guys who've had to spend a week on the sofa after their vasectomy - my mate's dad was left with such bad bruising it looked like he was wearing pruple shorts (or so my mate tells me). It's not quite as simple as just a quick snip.

I don't really have a problem with condoms either - the missus is on the pill, yet we still use them.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:31, closed)

I don't have a problem with condoms either
as long as you use decent ones (durex featherlite for preference) it doesn't feel all that different
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:57, closed)

But not the 'Mates' brand
I could never get the fuckers on. Sex without a condom is far far superior. Unless you've been circumcised, then it probably wouldn't make a difference.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:59, closed)

mates are shit
used them once because they were free. never again.

I find that the difference between with and without condom isn't enough to be worth haivng my mrs experience the pill or implant side effects.

the coil is worth considering though I guess.

I'm not planning on having kids, so the snip is tempting to reduce the chances of an accident
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:03, closed)

and I can't believe how much they are
they used to be a quid for a three-pack, either from Boots or from a machine in the gents' bogs. And Durex too.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:47, closed)

I only buy in bulk
12 or 18, so it's not quite so bad.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:10, closed)

Some people may well have had a bad experience.
My brother had it done at 9am, and he was back at work after lunch fitting beedrooms.

It may depend on the doctor, or how long ago it was. My doctor specialised in the procedure and had done over 2000 of them over 15 years. I had mine done in 1994 and I'm so glad I did.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:58, closed)

I've had plenty of teeth filled
and I can't think of it being that unpleasant. The thought of someone prodding around my bollocks with a sharp knife is much worse in my mind!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:45, closed)

I thought the same
but I was fretting about nothing really.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:53, closed)

nah
Coil for the lady is much simpler. Whack it in, forget about it for 10 years. if you then want to have some more nippers, whip it back out and get spalunking again.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:31, closed)

The great advantage of a vasectomy
is that the man can then shag around as much as he likes, while the woman is stuck with condoms or concealing the pill if she wants a safe bit on the side.
(ubergeekian, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:34, closed)

Unless
her bit on the side's had the snip too!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:43, closed)

unless he picks a bird with an STD

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:58, closed)

MMAAAAAHHOOOOSSSIIVVEE Click.
It's the least a man can do.

Had mine done last year, Mine took 35mins in the local surgery and i drove home afterwards. Even the shaving was new experience which i'm happy to say i've continued.

looks the same, shoots the same, smells the same, etc. stop being the stereotypical ignorant fuckwit do what the OP says - MAN UP
(TheManofScience, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 12:36, closed)

Shaving was a pain.
For some reason, I did the lot and it took forever.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:02, closed)

yes.. shaving...
i spent ages "around the back" making sure it was hairless and he ended up going thru the front. he didn't even see what i nice job i'd done. i was a bit miffed.
(TheManofScience, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:49, closed)

Alternatively
you could just place your nuts on top of the microwave and put it on full twatting power for a couple of minutes.

Or hit yourself in the bollocks with a mallet.

Should leave you well and truly seedless.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:04, closed)

but where's the fun in that
I stripped off, then had a fit nurse gently swab my scrotum and then arrange nice warm flannels around it. How I didn't crack a semi I never know.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:07, closed)

Fun?
I know people that would PAY for that sort of treatment!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:29, closed)

Such as those on BUPA
colon hyphen close paranthesis
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:48, closed)

Great Idea
As somebody who became a dad by "accident" (read smarties were in the bin) I'd advocate every lad in the land getting sorted the day after they could reproduce. At least that way the "accident" rate would plummet and "real" family planning would involve both parents deciding.

That said the little Miss is now 13 and I'm ever so glad I stuck about to watch her grow into the teenager she is now.

Heck I even let Mrs M make an honest man of me (admitedly only five years ago) (but fuck I was annoyed)..

Edit: And yes I have had the snip, 2 months "before" the bairn was born, just to make sure there were no more accidents........

Edit 2: And no it didnt hurt (at all) was in the pub 3 hours after the opp and was fixing my Landie the next morning.........
(Dark Matter All The Wonders In The World & We Invent Boredom, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:52, closed)

Well I got conned by the surgeon.
I was lying there with the veg on show and an Aussie nurse stroking my forehead (only dread kept the old boy down) and the doc asked "would you mind if my colleague assists? He's a student." Lulled as I was by the Aussie totty's hand I agreed.
Now I have the tube one side definitely tied up shorter than the other (I can feel it pulling when, ah, er - I pull it) and for two weeks after my nut sack looked like an aubergine.
Didn't even get her number either.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:04, closed)

Glad I read this.
Might well be booking m'self in...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:49, closed)