more clinging than stalking
after 12 years of a bizarre on-off relationship, my ex and i finally decided to call it quits. we were bad for each other and we both knew it.
due to the fact that the split was both mutual and amicable, the creepy thin man(or CTM) and i remained friends.
having lots of friends myself, i'd forgotten that he didn't actually have any.
when i went for a night out at the local pulling pit, he'd beg to come along with us. he was so pathetic that i always gave in, much to my friend's annoyance(he really is very creepy).
things finally came to a head one night when, standing at the bar, i saw the most gorgeous man looking at me. seriously, this guy made me drool. i gave him the old hair-flip and smile and he was over faster than shit off a shovel. he bought me a drink and we got talking. he said he'd wanted to talk to me all night, but thought that "the little skinny fella" was my partner. i explained the situation and said that he was still a bit, shall we say, over-friendly. sexy guy says yes, that would explain why he's standing right behind you, giving me the daggers! i turned round pretty sharpish to give him a mouthful, he didn't even flinch! he just said "what have i done wrong?" as the stud of my dreams walked off without me.
it turns out that, every time i'd struck up a conversation with a bloke, he'd been no more than 2 feet behind me, glaring at my would-be suitors. he even went so far as to tell half the blokes in the club that we were married, but had an open marriage!

i realised at this point that our break-up hadn't been as clean for him as it had been for me, so i told him we couldn't be friends any more. he still didn't take the hint. he'd turn up with a weed(he knows my weaknesses) and "accidentally" miss his last train, meaning he'd have to sleep on my couch. it got so bad that, at one point, he'd phone me up and read his gas bills down the phone to me! i mean seriously, wtf??? desperate is one thing, but this was ridiculous.
he hasn't contacted me for about a year now. how did i manage that? easy - i lent him money.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 Feb 2008, 3:53, 10 replies)

You let him...
sleep on your couch after telling him to fuck off? i like a good smoke as much as the next person but surely to christ you weren't that desperate for a joint you needed to open your home to someone who's clearly a world-class nutjob. or was it some latent, misplaced guilt at breaking it off?
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 2 Feb 2008, 4:48, closed)

If your a cunt women will pay you to fuck off?
Business plan!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 2 Feb 2008, 10:05, closed)

It's sometimes worth it
to lend money to arseholes who have no intentions of paying you back, just to see the back of the fuckers. My filthy leech of a cousin ended up finally fucking off out of my face for just a fiver - bargain! I haven't seen her in about 8 years now. The smelly druggie guy we used to drink with in the pub until he got all smelly and druggie cost us 20. He never was seen again.
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Sat 2 Feb 2008, 15:48, closed)

@ tuqueboy
i let him stay because he really is a pathetic strip of humanity, designed to be a lifelong victim and the butt of every joke. i felt sorry for him. that's the only reason i started seeing him in the first place.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 Feb 2008, 23:18, closed)

SmashMonkey
Is that really the best reason to start dating someone in the first place?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 14:24, closed)

fuckarama
no, of course not, but i'm not the first to wind up with someone due to a sympathy shag and i doubt i'll be the last.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 2:46, closed)

Smash Monkey
Yeah, you're probably right, and it;s not like I'm totally innocent of it, especially when alcohol is involved...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 10:10, closed)

If it wasn't for sympathy shags, i'd never get laid!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 11:54, closed)

fuckarama and A A
it's like the old saying goes, i've never gone to bed with a dog, but i've woken up with a few! ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 18:18, closed)

Beer
Assisting people who are sanity challenged and ugly in having intercourse...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 9:37, closed)