two parties...
in the last 12 months, two parties come to mind. as i'm 17 at present, they both qualify as teenage parties.

1) end of the last year at secondary school, and we have the big leavers' ball, everyone looking lovely in suits and dresses, all very civilised. drunken teachers calling students "cunts" and the occasional scrap. that was civilised for my school...
anyway, post-ball, a group of about 12-15 of us head back to our friend Tessa's for some booze and some good times. we sit around for a couple of hours, just drinking and chatting. now, personally, i didn't drink all that much, certainly not enough to be classed as "really drunk", but enough to pick up the rather lovely rachael from a bench in the back garden and carry her back into the house, hero-style, even though i didn't really know her.
of course, my dear friend poncho (sean...), he has a habit for drinking just a little to much. apparently he got through about 18 bottles of beer and alcopops, before throwing up all down himself, and the sofa, in the living room. so me and kyle (who is always sober as a judge.) take sean into the bathroom, remove his smart shirt and suit jacket, and prop him up in front of the loo. he's drifting in and out of consciousness, so fearing that he might end up choaking on his own vomit, i volunteer to sit with him for a while, just to be on the safe side. i attempt conversation with him, hoping to keep him awake, when all the while, from the living room i can hear "whiney danielle"'s voice, surprise surprise, whining. for an hour and a half. then kyle took over for half an hour, and i went into the kitchen, to get flashed by tessa. that was a good thing.
we plonked poncho on the living room floor, and left him to sleep it off, while we all talked and chatted in the kitchen.
of course, when it got to about 8AM, we decided we should be leaving, so after a brief clear up (not really all that much mess...) we wandered out into the streets of brockley, and caught a bus into lewisham. i proceeded to get a bus to blackheath, as i was playing guitar at a 5-9s childrens' holiday group at my church. in a suit. hungover. good times.

2) so, the other party that springs to mind was a little less... nice. me and two of my closest friends (poncho, again, and the almighty sammo) are headed to this party of a friend that myself and sammo vaguely know, in a nice big house in lewisham. we turn up, and basically just loiter in the hall, because we dont' really know anyone else, apart from this guy called rich, who's stoned and sells me a can of old speckled hen for a pound... there's about 30 people in the living room, just sitting around, smoking draw, drinking and generally being convivial. so the four of us decide to go to the back garden...
cue rich pulling out his pipe, which was his method of choic for smoking weed. sammo and poncho but have a tug, and pronounce it "rubbish", and i politely decline, not being the smoking type (heavily asthmatic).
we return to the indoors, where it's warmer, and meet a random guy called jimmy in the kitchen, who ended up being quite boring. then we found some random cherry spirits-type stuff. it was 'orrible, but we finished the rather large bottle between the three of us.
then we decided, we were feeling sociable, so we headed to the living room. everyone was still sitting around, smoking draw, drinking, chatting, but it was all a little louder and more excitable, due to the amount of alcohol that had been consumed. somehow, me and poncho get hold of a large bottle of red wine, which is full when we get it, but empty when we finish with it. then we start drinking gin. half a bottle of bombay sapphire is ingested between us, and we're both feeling fairly woozy. sammmo's disappeared off somewhere, to have a philosophical discussion, probably. so me and poncho are feeling fairly mashed, so we decide to see who can drink 3 cans of kronenburg the fastest. i win, in about 4 minutes.
i get bored of all this, and decide to go and sit on the sofa. now, at this point, my memory is vague, and i can't really remember anything for the next two or three hours... i remember talking to a girl called eve, and then not much for a while, then meeting a girl called jess upstairs about radiohead and bob dylan, and i'm still fairly good mates with her... then i was on the landing shouting abuse at someone... then in the host's parents' bedroom... then on the landing. then i woke up on top of a girl called katie, and we decided to leave. it was about 8 in the morning. once again, i had to be at church, for half nine, because i was playing guitar in the morning service. on the walk to church, i was hand in hand with katie's friend molly, the whole way, who asked me to fondle her baps about three times. so i obliged.
finally, i got to church after a 3 mile walk with a hangover, and nearly nodded off during the sermon. i felt very ill that day.

oh, and the girl called eve i mentioned above, during the blurry section, apparently we were sucking each other's faces for about half an hour... don't remember that.

lesson learned: drunk tony = horny tony.

edit: fuck... that was a long post. erm... "i've got a massive knob" do alright?
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Mon 17 Apr 2006, 10:31, Reply)