I know it's me.
I have a way of saying things that are completely inappropriate, in a number of situations I have no trouble getting away with it, but I always fail to pick the right audience to appreciate what I just see as throw-away comments, or something that should be laughed at and then dismissed.

As a direct result, they cause great offence.

For example, one of our solicitors asked me to arrange something for her, then not fifteen minutes later asked something else of me. Both relatively minor jobs that hardly require anything.

The conversation that followed went as follows: -

Me: "You're being very demanding."
Her: "I am a woman, what do you expect?"
Me: "Home baking."

After a quick "You'd be lucky!" I've had the silent treatment since.
( Muns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 9:47, 23 replies)

you're the model of discretion
I'd have gone with 'anal'
(alright alright, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 9:50, closed)

So I hear.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:07, closed)

To be fair, she started being sexist first.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:37, closed)

Typical fucking feminist.

( Muns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:46, closed)

I was once told off for using the term "manpower", which was followed by the woman who told me off saying "God - men are such divs!"

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:06, closed)

This is why we need shari'a law.
You could have stoned the cunt to death for blasphemy.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:08, closed)

It's like getting told off for saying "niggardly".

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:30, closed)

THAT outcry was embarassing to watch, wasn't it?
Dear Lord.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 12:00, closed)

But those people do annoy me.

(McChinaman banned, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 12:57, closed)

Oh. You'll know this.
Are all solicitors unbearable fucking dick-ends? Or just all the one I've ever known or has to work with?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:09, closed)

Approximately 99.4%
In the seven years I've been working with them, I've met approximately two who aren't. One was a trainee, so I don't think she had actually reached the stage where her humour and personality had been forcibly removed from her via her anus. The other left the profession in order to find something less soul destroying.
( Muns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:22, closed)

I feel so ashamed on behalf of women when I read things like this
I think you'll find that the more grown up women are, the less likely this is to happen.

Just ignore those who cry "sexist" at every available opportunity... or kick them in the mimsy.
( Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:41, closed)

That doesn't go down well at all.
I end of accused of kicking them in the mimsy because they're female. If they were male then I wouldn't have kicked them in the cunt...
( Muns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 13:01, closed)

One of my good friends is a solicitor.
It's great - it's given me a lifetime of abuse to give him, and a free legal service should I ever need it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 12:01, closed)

I used to be mates with a solicitor.
Had him round for dinner once. He had two tokes of a joint, went grey, puked, slumped forward in his chair and insisted in a very mumbly way that he was going to kill me and his girlfriend. Top bloke.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 12:31, closed)

Inviting someone for dinner, only to present them with MASSIVE DRUGS instead of food,
is the very height of rudeness. No wonder he wanted to kill you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 12:39, closed)

Bah, cocaine in the gravy again instead of cornflour
It never mixes properly
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 13:04, closed)

edgy

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:28, closed)

Not really....
Just a recent example of picking the wrong target, especially for such a joke.
( Muns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:37, closed)

Speaking as a woman
because I am one, I hold no truck with these bloody wimmin who are constantly picking on men and crying sexist all the time. They give us all a bad name.
( Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:37, closed)

The ones that cry 'help' are the worst.
They could wake up my wife.
( Muns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:39, closed)

Inconsiderate too!
Pah
( Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:41, closed)

And this is why I live near a gravel pit.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 12:55, closed)