Ross Kemp in "not a twat" shocker!
Lady Scaramanga's has a mate whose husband is in the RAF.
Thoroughly decent chap he is too (despite a slightly pathalogical devotion to the Queen which almost led to him caving my head in once, but anyway...)

Harder than every B3tan put together, he's done two tours in Iraq and two in Afghanistan.
His stories tend to revolve around the rugby club style antics rather than the bombing and killing people side of things.

One evening we'd gone for dinner with a few other friends and the subject turned to Ross Kemp. Me, being a media junkie started laying into "Ross Kemp in Afghanistan"

"Oh, it's clearly bollocks. There's no way a TV company is ever going to let him into harms way. I know how telly works; the re-edit everything to make it look more exciting than it is; they probably dub on explosions and stuff. Guy's clearly a cock as well. What the fuck does he know about war?"

"It's funny you should mention that", says rock hard RAF man who could probably kill me with his little finger "Cos we met him last time he was filming there."

*gulp*

"Not only is a proper nice bloke with the utmost for the armed forces, but he risked his life several times when he was out there. The boys kept having to pull him back, cos he wanted to get closer to the action. He was not at all what I expected. I never liked the guy either; I thought "Oh, here comes hard man Mr Actor", but he wasn't like that at all. And what you see on the programme is probably as real as it gets without being there. Just goes to show..."

It does indeed.

And luckily he never hit me.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 9:28, 14 replies)

I am genuinely surprised at this revelation!
I will never disparage Mr Kemp's 'Fly on the wall' documentaries again.
However, Danny Dyer is a cunt.
That is all.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 9:44, closed)

really?
oh

anyway your Mrs' mate cant be THAT hard as he was in the RAF..crabs (as they are affectionately known) are pale weirdos with rubbish uniforms
and I was in the Royal Navy and I'm a fucking PUSSY...
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:02, closed)

Top story

( Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:20, closed)

So
he confirmed that Ross Kemp is a fucking knucklehead, who put himself at risk, as well as his camera crew, and the soldiers who would have had to drag him out if he'd been hit?
If the "boys kept having to pull him back", he's obviously a cock who thinks he's bullet-proof and has delusions of being awarded a Journalism Bravery Award. Fuck it, I'd have let him go and experience the horror of war and battlefield trauma at really close range.
(Rsoles, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:24, closed)

I did think this myself
but thought best not to broach it
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 12:25, closed)

Never knew it took a well 'ard bloke to drop bombs.
Is the button to release them really, really difficult to press or something?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 11:02, closed)

They land, get out, and club the enemy to death with the plane, Atom-Ant style.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 12:03, closed)

yep
There are no hard men in the RAF. You might even be thinking of the rock apes but you'd mistaken there as well.

Just sayin.
(skgorsky, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 12:13, closed)

...and he did once smack Russell Crowe after he was getting arsey
Which makes him a good bloke in my book.
( Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 12:17, closed)

Tell me this is true.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:07, closed)

I've heard that too.

( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:07, closed)

Nice guy, perhaps, but not a hard man
Rebekah Brooks (then Wade - notice how she never took Ross's surname) kicked the crap out of him.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 15:08, closed)

How did you get the RAF man rock hard?

( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 16:31, closed)

Girls dressed up as planes.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 3 Jun 2012, 8:10, closed)