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# One, Two, Davey's coming for you
(I helped save b3ta! Richard Shitheels, Thu 6 May 2010, 8:52, archived)
# ever heard Tom Jones' International?
the lyrics are:

"one, two, Tom's coming for you
three, four, gonna bust down your door
five, six, better lock up your chicks
seven, eight, before its too late"

leetle beet rapey, no?

though possibly not as rapey as his duet of Its cold out there with Cerys Matthews. The line "say what's in this drink?" has never been so heavily laced with roofies dark innuendo
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 8:55, archived)
# Oh Tom's famed for it in South Wales
he busts down so many doors and rapes so many chicks that he is now sponsored by Jewson's and the Morning After Pill
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 6 May 2010, 8:57, archived)
# Best of all the sponsors.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:18, archived)
# hahahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:21, archived)
# It's not rape if they chuck their knickers at you
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 6 May 2010, 8:59, archived)
# What if they're only throwing knickers at you because they've run out of any other weapon?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:01, archived)
# well, that's just unfortunate
shit happens
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:02, archived)
# then they can throw it
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 6 May 2010, 9:03, archived)
# To be fair to him, he also murders them with a knife in his hand
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:00, archived)
# he's gone and had he's Weetabix
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:02, archived)
# my my my.
(I helped save b3ta! Richard Shitheels, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:02, archived)
# Say what you like about Tom, at least he never leaves a job half finished
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:04, archived)
# O_o
(I helped save b3ta! Richard Shitheels, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:03, archived)
# Tell you what, give this a listen
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EZQl23aavs

surreal doesn't even come close
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:04, archived)
# hahaha I thought he sang "Black pudding on a puppet show"
(I helped save b3ta! Richard Shitheels, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:13, archived)
# that makes slighty more sense than half of it
"He thought that they would listen to a puppet telling them what to do"

"He carved a king named Martin Luther"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:15, archived)
# Who on earth wrote that crap? The Ku Klux Klan?
Dear god, back then people sang absolutely anything that was given to them
(I helped save b3ta! Richard Shitheels, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:16, archived)
# no idea, I wonder if one of his songwriters gave it to him for a bet.
I discovered some months ago that the only thing that can cure the worst of all hangovers is writhing round in bed belting out Tom Jones numbers. You'd be surprised at what wonders it can work. Even dehydration and muscle poisoning is scared of him.

(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:19, archived)