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#
Ground floor:
Perfumery, stationary, and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, kitchenware and food. Going up...

First floor:
Telephones, gents ready made suits, shirts, suits, ties, hats, underwear, and shoes. Going up...

Second floor:
Carpets, travel goods, and bedding, materials, soft furnishings, restaurants, and ties. Going down...

Third floor:
Telephones, gents ready made suits, shirts, suits, ties, hats. Going down...
(, Mon 26 Aug 2013, 13:40, archived)
# Try this, instead.
FIRST FLOOR DUNGEON
Assorted simple tortures.
Molten lead, chopping blocks
And hot boiling oil.

SECOND FLOOR DUNGEON
Jewelry department.
Leg chains, ankle chains,
Neck chains, wrist chains, thumb screws
And nooses of the very finest rope.

THIRD FLOOR DUNGEON
Household appliances.
Spike beds, electric chairs,
gas chambers, roasting pots,
and scalping devices.

BASEMENT DUNGEON
Ev'ry body out!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_5,000_Fingers_of_Dr._T#Musical_score
(, Mon 26 Aug 2013, 14:05, archived)