I once let a friendSleep on my floor for a couple of weeks while he sorted out his accomodation. Needless to say this short stay turned into several months. He wasn't really nasty, or particularly mad, but he was just utterly useless. At pretty much everything.
He was a great cook though, even though he never washed up. He once ran out of money for food so I lent him a tenner for (as I thought) some pasta and a few cans of tomato. But oh no, this guy wanted to cook. So he went and bought a bunch of baby squid and fried them in garlic butter, leaving him no money to eat for the rest of the week. Worst of all there were no clean pans in the house so he fried in garlic butter direct on the hob. Which we had to clean.
He once walked in to a rather serious house meeting, sat down and proceeded to shotgun a can of lager and then get all ratty when we threw him out.
Mutual friends used to give him money and then try and find him a couple of hours later just to find out what sort of state he'd got himself into. The worst day was when we found him doing lines of coke off a table in a pub in front of the entire, horrified clientle.
The scariest thing he ever did though was to turn up in my room at about 3a.m. stinking drunk and covered in blood and oozing sores, waking me and scaring me witless in the process. I thought he'd got into a fight but it turned out he'd decided it's be fun to roll head first down a long, steep grassy bank. And I'm sure it was fun right up until the point he hit the tarmac road at the bottom of the slope head first.
The scary thing is he's a teacher now.
(,
Mon 17 Nov 2003, 16:12,
archived)
He was a great cook though, even though he never washed up. He once ran out of money for food so I lent him a tenner for (as I thought) some pasta and a few cans of tomato. But oh no, this guy wanted to cook. So he went and bought a bunch of baby squid and fried them in garlic butter, leaving him no money to eat for the rest of the week. Worst of all there were no clean pans in the house so he fried in garlic butter direct on the hob. Which we had to clean.
He once walked in to a rather serious house meeting, sat down and proceeded to shotgun a can of lager and then get all ratty when we threw him out.
Mutual friends used to give him money and then try and find him a couple of hours later just to find out what sort of state he'd got himself into. The worst day was when we found him doing lines of coke off a table in a pub in front of the entire, horrified clientle.
The scariest thing he ever did though was to turn up in my room at about 3a.m. stinking drunk and covered in blood and oozing sores, waking me and scaring me witless in the process. I thought he'd got into a fight but it turned out he'd decided it's be fun to roll head first down a long, steep grassy bank. And I'm sure it was fun right up until the point he hit the tarmac road at the bottom of the slope head first.
The scary thing is he's a teacher now.
teachers...I used to be a teacher - before getting an even worse paid job as a PhD student. I always tell my mates that everything on Teachers is mild compared to some of the stuff I've seen, heard of or done. There was this house full of young teachers, and one guy came in so pissed up that he'd shit his trousers. Being (sort of) house trained, he put the trousers in the washing machine to clean them up. Unfortunately, the rest of the house woke up to find that he'd actually put the shitty trousers into the tumble dryer. Lovely.
And this was at a highly reputable public school!
(And this was at a highly reputable public school!
randompunter,
Mon 17 Nov 2003, 16:59,
archived)
"And this was at a highly reputable public school!"
Probably explains the weak sphincter.
(Probably explains the weak sphincter.
UncleLewy,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 13:00,
archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine....,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 17:32,
archived)