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From the Alternative Xmas Cards challenge. See all 288 entries (closed)

( Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:40, archived)

:D

( head-doctor internet, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:40, archived)

Well if anyone has to worry about global warming...
Woo!
( Fishcat www.crabhat.net, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:40, archived)

Hahaha!
Good morrow to all!
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:40, archived)

'ning old bean.

( head-doctor internet, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:41, archived)

Howdy!
Mum's birthday today, she's ooooollllddddd
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:53, archived)

Don't say that to her face.
I did to mine.
She murdered me.

Like, for real, bro.
( head-doctor internet, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:55, archived)

Oh, it's fine, Granny Pam already got her a "Happy 40th" card,
forgetting that she's 39.
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:00, archived)

Happy 40-1 Birthday!

( head-doctor internet, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:01, archived)

She'd rip your head off for THAT.
And she's already annoyed that I gave her black tea, instead of white, because there's no milk left.
RACIST!!!

Edit: Oh, and she hates cooking. My sister bought her a cook book from both of us.
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:03, archived)

I'd go to the shops to get some if she wants*.
*if there wasn't a 200-mile distance between us
( head-doctor internet, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:05, archived)

Well, so would I,
but that means you need money.
And an umbrella
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:06, archived)

You can stand under my umbrella.
Ella ella ay ay ay
( head-doctor internet, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:08, archived)

*blows head off with haloesque shotgun*
*pisses on your carcass*
*dances in your pool of blood*
*blows you up with nitroglycerine*

I. FUCKING. HATE. THAT. SONG.
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:11, archived)

'ning squire.

( Green Spanner has legs that produce tick pheromones, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:44, archived)

'nong the witch is dead

( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:54, archived)

Which old witch?

( Green Spanner has legs that produce tick pheromones, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:08, archived)

arf! :)

( prodigy69 uncle 2.0, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:43, archived)

Two snowmen sitting together
One says 'Can you smell carrot?'

.
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:44, archived)

oh dear.
you silly silly silly bugger.
( head-doctor internet, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:45, archived)

Two parrots sitting on a perch
One says 'Can you smell fish?'
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:47, archived)

hahahahahaha
loon
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:49, archived)

?

( Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:46, archived)

I want the royalties for that:P

( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:47, archived)

I heard it by Dave Spikey.
I think it's been around a bit.
( Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:48, archived)

It is an old one:)

( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:53, archived)

yeh
think dave spikey's great grandad told him when he was 30 (and spikey was 5)
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 12:08, archived)

...aaaand i'd like to congratulate that joke
on its 200th birthday.
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:50, archived)

OK then
Two snowmen sitting together.
One says 'Who gave you that black eye?!':P
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:54, archived)

gnnng

( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:55, archived)

XD

( NinjaBadger Come see "The Room" in London- See Events Nov 28th, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:44, archived)

haha!
ace.
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:46, archived)

pff
I think it's alright if you put the lumps back into the ground once you've finished with them
( Bloop wasn't here on, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 11:19, archived)

hehe
aceness
( jamiem, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 14:49, archived)

Fuck me!
Yet another Generation II member pops up out of nowhere.

Good to see you back, old man.
( 0% Interest is Googling for splectrum, Sun 9 Dec 2007, 17:15, archived)

Boo to global warming
Mister Slim, long time not see online or otherwise. Shall have to have words with Mr Jones.

Hope you're well.
( hashaday reality not to scale, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 11:10, archived)