Satires


Although if this ever turns up on the BNP "humour" section or someone from the Daily Mail calls it "gloriously politically incorrect", I'll kill myself.
(Cuthbert Annihilator I think, therefore I am what I eat, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:02, archived)

*bums embassy*

( Mushroom, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:03, archived)

*embarasses bernard*

( hexachordal GO SPORT, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:30, archived)

It's gloriously politically incorrect!
may also have been done before, but this is a very nicely done version.
( The Hedgehog From Hell lalalalala, I can't see you, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:03, archived)

heh nicely done thar!

( McBadger filling you with joy. In a good way., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:04, archived)

*churns embassy*

( pzyko, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:06, archived)

*gurns embassy*

( lordsaccharine considering starting a ruckus on, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:14, archived)

*turns embassy*

( pzyko, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:15, archived)

He probably wasn't advocating sharia law for britain
but whatever he was saying was still naive and wrong, in as far as it was comprehensible. If he wasn't such a sexy dancer he'd have no redeeming characteristics.
(_Felix gave Postbear crabs, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:06, archived)

you forgot your relevant repost
which is one of the best pictures ever
( Mushroom, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:06, archived)

Ah yes.

Should do some new ones really, he has other moves to show off I bet.
(_Felix gave Postbear crabs, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:17, archived)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
for the record I should mention that this is saved in my 'b3ta best ever' folder :D
( Mushroom, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:22, archived)

Christ himself
loves this.

As do I.
( An Eagle in Your Mind wants to feel you from the inside, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:48, archived)

Is that Rowan
Jiggin' for Jesus?

Don't mess with the vestry.
(PyroTyger I ate all your bees., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:02, archived)

this is more win
than win itself!
(pedanticnazi#10389561, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:42, archived)

In all the media coverage of his comments
one thing I never actually saw was a transcript of what he actually said, or even quotes that gave the proper context.

He was giving a speech to a bunch of lawyers, and I am led to believe that he was discussing some of the finer points of the practical application of our laws in this strange new multicultural society.

His responses to the furore have been naive and counter-productive, for sure, but the media have been happy to perpetuate the "LOL HE WANTS US TO HAVE SHARIA LAW LOL" angle as long as it sells newspapers, willingly discarding what few facts were actually reported in the first place.
( The Hedgehog From Hell lalalalala, I can't see you, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:10, archived)

So you're saying he's become a Muslim?

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:12, archived)

this

( Mushroom, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:13, archived)

Whatever his
motives and intent he is still the leader of an archaic cult and should not be allowed to make statements of any kind.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:13, archived)

I'm not going to bite tonight.
Someone else can have this one.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:15, archived)

*burns the heretic*

( The Hedgehog From Hell lalalalala, I can't see you, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:15, archived)

I swear to god ;)
if we banned religion worldwide and burned a few catholics we could sort out the ills of the Earth in 20 years ( but not the global warming, you are stuck with that whatever you do, numpties, it's a natural occurence ).
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:19, archived)

Provided you planted enough trees
to make your Catholic-burning carbon neutral, I don't see a problem with this.
( The Hedgehog From Hell lalalalala, I can't see you, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:21, archived)

You're making it difficult for me,
but I do need to go to bed soon so once again I'm passing.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:22, archived)

*dangles*
allowing a few to perpetuate myth, conjecture and downright superstitious nonsense as a means to placate and control a populace that no longer needs crazy answers to what are now mundane questions is really the biggest crime on humanity to date.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:25, archived)

*hums quietly*
I should point out I'm not especially pro-religion, I just don't think this level of demonisation is at all justified.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:27, archived)

*jiggles*
How is it not justified? God was an invention of sentient man that allowed the birth of civilisation. Without a superior being man was unable to get over the big questions he had as he grew as a species. The comfort that 'god' gave as answers allowed progress. However with god came religion as unscrupulous people saw a means to become lords of the many by pretending they knew what god wanted for his people. Of course this happened at different times in different places. That has led to the shithole we are in today. The only way for mankind to make the next evolutionary step is to do away with religion altogether. It is the last bastion of a world we have not needed for hundreds of years.
I wonder how man managed to function for 70 thousand years before the invention of organised religion.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:35, archived)

I can see what your religion is
£70 thousand years indeed...
(Cuthbert Annihilator I think, therefore I am what I eat, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:37, archived)

We'll have to do this properly another night, I'm off to bed.
Goodnight b3ta.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:37, archived)

haha. He got away
and he was ...........this big!

night night.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:39, archived)

Like I said, you made it difficult.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:39, archived)

My worms are often
juicy ;)
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:41, archived)

This biggest crime on humanity in general
is the idea of rights. In anything.

People see it as worse for humanity to have no rigid arbitrarily constructed rights and wrongs.
But those who see something as right will continue to do it regardless of the concequences. And the world is far too much of a diversed, interweaved and chaotically theoried responsibility of a place to go about fucking people over just because of some stupid assumption.
(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:37, archived)

Not really
Bizarre arbitrary value systems, enforced pointless hierachies, misinformation and the various other malicious areas of religion are rife throughout society as a whole.

Although arguably it might be easily to sort things out, because without religion at least people would fear death.
(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:23, archived)

it's like the militant islam vs communism thing
at least MAD applied with communism ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:27, archived)

To be fair, this furore didn't involve any Catholics
Apart from banning contraception and hence inflicting overpopulation on developing countries, I'm not sure Catholocism does that much damage to the world compared to other religions, like the fundementalist Christian right in the US dictating foriegn policy, extremist Islam in the ME blowing up innocent civilians, Hindu nationalists in India threatening to "string up" all Muslims in Mumbia (and this is a fairly popular politician, I was reading about him on wikipedia the other day) and I'm guessing the smattering of anti-semitic, anti-muslim anti-immigration nationalist parties in Europe have at least a touch of Christian influence. And the BNP has a Sikh correspondent for their newspaper whose only qualification is his visceral hatred of Muslims.

Of course in a world with yer Richard Littlejohns I'm not saying that all Christians, Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs are evil. Just that there are serious problems with all of those religions that allow extremists to gain a foothold.

PS. I hate Catholicism really, I just wanted to have a go at every other religion.
(Cuthbert Annihilator I think, therefore I am what I eat, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:32, archived)

all Christians, Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs
are not evil at all. They are just misguided, manipulated,naive fools and would do better thinking for themselves and getting on with a fruitful life the same way all other earth organisms do. Feed fuck and fight. Works for me.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:37, archived)

well yes
that too
( Mushroom, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:16, archived)

I'm not clear on what legal changes he had in mind, since private arbitration is already legal
I mean, people can settle various disagreements in courts of their own invention if they want to. I think opt-in sharia courts of that kind already exist. The worrying thing is whether the people opting-in genuinely realise that they are free to not-opt-in, or feel brave enough to decline. Giving these courts extra legal recognition won't help with that. Also, I suspect he was trying to sneakily acquire more power for the church of england in certain ways, possibly related to the gay priests thing - he probably wants to be able to legally discriminate, based on religious exemption from discrimination laws, to get out of that pickle.
(_Felix gave Postbear crabs, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:37, archived)

Oh I know
But he was saying that basically religions (not just Islam, although why he specifically brought them up in this climate without even asking any Muslims which seems a bit rude) should have some seperate laws from each other in certain areas. Which I suppose is liberal and multicultural and all that but it's basically a step towards segregation as far as I can see and a step away from seperation of the church and state.

Although people who blame "fucking pakis" for everything annoy me a lot more.
(Cuthbert Annihilator I think, therefore I am what I eat, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:11, archived)

Lolz.
S'up b3ta people.
( Caewan on the internet doing it wrong spice.co.uk/caeware, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:09, archived)

You've missed an interesting evening...

( The Hedgehog From Hell lalalalala, I can't see you, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:22, archived)

My evening was very intersting.
for once..
What interesting stuff did i miss?
( Caewan on the internet doing it wrong spice.co.uk/caeware, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:23, archived)

We all had a massive party.
There were balloons and cake.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:25, archived)

and shit.
don't forget the shit.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:26, archived)

I'll never forget the shit.
My hand can only get to the hide button so fast.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:28, archived)

Well i didn't get an invite :(
But i hung out with "RL" people.. what ever they are..
( Caewan on the internet doing it wrong spice.co.uk/caeware, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:26, archived)

Why?

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:28, archived)

Well...
Sir Pigeon Nipples and mongychops might have swapped accounts for a laugh, and started posting transsexual scat porn. They've both been quiet for a while now.
( The Hedgehog From Hell lalalalala, I can't see you, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:26, archived)

(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:10, archived)

HAHAHA!
That's more like it.
( Sea Tramp is trying to stay weak for the sake of - oh..., Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:14, archived)

nite nite
sleepy tiem for me

zzz
(discomeats fucking 16 chain combo asshole cement in a boat, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:14, archived)

sleep sweet tight prince

( pzyko, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:17, archived)