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Home » Messageboard » B3ta Christmas cards » Message 8980514

[challenge entry] jingle all the fucking way

From the B3ta Christmas cards challenge. See all 272 entries (closed)

(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:20, archived)
# Woo Drugs
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:21, archived)
# don't mind if i do!
his beard was brown before he developed a coke habit, there's about £500 worth dusted on his whiskers
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:22, archived)
# Ach, one of the more annoying things about going out for christmas drinks
obnoxious bell ends, coked up to the eyeballs thinking they're God's gift to conversation.

It's almost like being on the internet... ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:23, archived)
# ive never seen anyone on coke with my own eyes
but id imagine santa is a mad fucker on the stuff
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:24, archived)
# You have, it's just you didn't realise.
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:25, archived)
# He'd sit you in his sleigh for an hour
so he could tell you all about how wonderful he is before having a fight with you about something he said earlier. At no point will you have managed to get a word in edgeways.

What Quijibo said- if you've met a right dickhead in the pub they probably had a nose full of the 80s.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:25, archived)
# so the kids wont be getting any presents then,
i thought the stuff might speed him up
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:26, archived)
# this
and why i've never done coke. either you're high, in which case you're a self-obsessed arrogant tosser or you're coming down minutes later in which case you're a bitchy self-obsessed arrogant wanker.

spliff and e all the way, man.

and - omfg druqzlol
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:25, archived)
# I used to do quite a lot of coke, I just ended up broke and with less close mates.
Hurrah.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:26, archived)
# See
I've never needed coke for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:28, archived)
#
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sliff

What?
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Gay off.
Corrected now.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Heh, I was genuinely confused
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:28, archived)
# This^^^^
Shittest and most pointless drug ever!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:27, archived)
# It's more the 'Master Of The Universe' attitude that is adopted.
The Tom Wolfe kind, not the crappy cartoon kind.

In *small* quantities, is the best way to feel undrunk. From what I recall.
It's been some time.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:28, archived)
# Surely not drinking as much would be the best
way to feel undrunk :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:30, archived)
# Yes. Good way of sobering people up quickly.
That's the only reason I'd recommend it now.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:30, archived)
# yes, but
if they're pissed, there's a chance they'll get the droop.
if they're coked, you're going to bed on your own :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:31, archived)
# I *was* actually thinking about friends rather than anyone else.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:33, archived)
# ah, right.
i have trouble concentrating on anything not sex-related ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:35, archived)
# No - Never!
Pffft!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:38, archived)
# it's true
i know i may give the appearance of a pure and innocent paragon of virtue, but underneath my tightly-laced bodice beats the heart of a true strumpet.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:41, archived)
# Ma'am, I shall once again say pish and tish
I will never be swayed by such vulgar and clearly preposterous self-descriptions, I simply cannot take them as the truth.*



* possibly
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:44, archived)
# you could try
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:48, archived)
# Oh, you....
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:35, archived)
# i speak from experience
talk about a letdown!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:36, archived)
# Worse than a punctured Inflatable 'friend'
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:39, archived)
# very much so.
all revved up with nowhere to go :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:42, archived)
# i only did coke once with a bottle of the bubbly
and a fine time it was too, it was her idea
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:35, archived)
# apparently
if you can get it up before the drugs kick in, you'll stay harder than a quadratic equation all night.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:37, archived)
# It's a very small window of time, though
Errrr, so I've been told.

*keeps digging*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:39, archived)
# tiny, apparently.
i've yet to meet anyone who's managed it.

doesn't stop me trying, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:43, archived)
# then for once in my life i got the timing right
was 10 years ago, don't suppose i could do it again
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:14, archived)
# best way of sobering up quickly
drink a pint of milk
sprint for 200m
call ambulance
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:33, archived)
# I like my way better, crazy Nibus.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:34, archived)
# Try if you will to imagine WORMULUS on coke.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:58, archived)
# only on christmas?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:29, archived)
# Woo Drugs
and at least the second coke-snorting Santa
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:36, archived)
# repost
While we are on the theme

(Rotten ICE Ninjurker, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:43, archived)
# The irony being that coke is called coke because
when it was first introduced it used cocaine instead of caffeine as its stimulant ingredient.
TRUFAX
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:46, archived)