Don't quite know what I was trying here...


... well I do... but I don't think it works

Original

From the Oliver Postgate challenge. See all 136 entries (closed)

( Joe Scaramanga The bitch hit me with a toaster, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:56, archived)

nice work sir

( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:58, archived)

I agree

( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:01, archived)

I think everyone's gone to lunch
and ta...
( Joe Scaramanga The bitch hit me with a toaster, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)

I'm perpetually out to lunch
in the colloquial sense
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)

you may be right there
come back!!! It's freezing out there!

I know - I've just been
( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)

I had to go out to Argos....
thirty people queueing... no one at the quick pay machine.
I was in and out in five minutes.

What is wrong with people?
( Joe Scaramanga The bitch hit me with a toaster, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:05, archived)

They're stupid
And generally ugly.
( A Vagabond has got new boots for kicking things, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:06, archived)

Sheep. If they see a queue they have to join it
They think it must be worthwhile.
( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:08, archived)

I must admit, I'm quite fond of queuing :)

( i_yam_bucket declares a thumb war., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:12, archived)

Get back in line...

( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

Sheep!

( RiffRaff "Board Sig"? What's that?... Oh, I see...., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:14, archived)

But that's one of their redeeming features.
/woolly buggers blog.
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:15, archived)

did you buy an Ericational Fumbustioner?

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:10, archived)

it all explainable by maths
i=1-(n/x)

i = intelligence of a person
n = number of people in a confined space
x = number of day until Christmas
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:10, archived)

*plots graph*
It looks like a CDC...
( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:12, archived)

you forgot this line
i=1-(n/x)/y

where y is the lenght of thime in minutes remaining in your lunch break
( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:13, archived)

:D

( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:14, archived)

*plots 3 dimensional graph*
It looks like a saucepan...
( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)

*plots 4-dimensional graph*
My GOD! It's opened a hole in teh space/time continuum!
( RiffRaff "Board Sig"? What's that?... Oh, I see...., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:19, archived)

GOATSE SCIENCE!!"!!

( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:20, archived)

... that's the kid who's earned the respect of his peers
through the medium of expressive dance
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)

very nice
also - the board spazzed out of existence for a moment there... I was a little scared but I managed to get through it alright and now I'm back...

read the entire harrowing tale in my new celebrity hardback ... "I Fucked Wincy Willis with a Turtle - The Professor UnderCover Story: Part 1"
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)

I like how your mind is a bit broken in places

( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:02, archived)

This

( A Vagabond has got new boots for kicking things, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)

I'm struggling to find the bits where it's not broken
but thanks...

*embraces like a brother*
*holds back tears*

... it means a lot to me
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)

*films*
*fwaps*
( A Vagabond has got new boots for kicking things, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:05, archived)

*wipes dribble from your chin*
so special
( fannycradock Misses being Myra. Dismaydiator :(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:12, archived)

this

( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:13, archived)

Is it in WHSmiths 50% off hardbacks offer?
If not there's no sale
( Joe Scaramanga The bitch hit me with a toaster, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)

well - yes and no
... I managed to smuggle some copies into WH Smiths and leave them on the shelves... but as they don't know they're there I don't think it would technically be stealing if you took them without paying.
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:06, archived)

*giggles self unconscious*

( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:11, archived)

This is brilliant.
They get awful confused at the checkouts when stuff doesn't scan.

This would cause absolute carnage.
( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:13, archived)

:D
next week's challenge: design a cover for a new Celebrity Hardback... have it printed professionally, and sneak into WH Smiths and put it over Alan Carr's new book.

:)
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)

Oh my fucking christ YES!
that'd be a heap of fun.
( RiffRaff "Board Sig"? What's that?... Oh, I see...., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:22, archived)

*clicks*

( Joe Scaramanga The bitch hit me with a toaster, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:26, archived)

Excellent
Sorry to TJ, but WTF???

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7777086.stm
( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:03, archived)

whoops!

( bilbobarneybobs has a profile full of redex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)

Just saw that on /links
Policing are calling it an attempted moider
( Joe Scaramanga The bitch hit me with a toaster, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)

I'm always doing that.
It's really annoying, and costs a fortune in towels.
( A Vagabond has got new boots for kicking things, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:06, archived)

I can't believe they don't test them backstage first
it's such an obvious way to try to kill someone
( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:08, archived)

That's jolly well done!

( A Vagabond has got new boots for kicking things, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:04, archived)

Looks dandy to me:)
Fucking seagulls! I popped some cheese an my windowsill to keep cool when I went to my room to bake a potato.
Tatty bakes and I open my window to see two fucking searats dining out on my sodding cheddar on the roof opposite!

EDIT: Did he come into town to get some gingham for his wife?
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:07, archived)

A fucking seagull stole Mrs Raff's ice cream right out of her hand last summer.
bastard. If I see it again I'll cunt it squarely in the fuck.
( RiffRaff "Board Sig"? What's that?... Oh, I see...., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)

Second time they've nicked something from me, or tried.
First time was in Bornemouth and one tried to nick my chips. I managed to react in time and stunned the lil shite with a left hook:P
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:17, archived)

They broke into my house once and stole a DVD player
Fucking seagulls!
( Barbarossa is wearing a sparkly bikini on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:21, archived)

Yeah but you're talking about the Britpop band now fallen on hard times:P

( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:24, archived)

This is aces :D
Though it reminds me of my god-awful film studies days.
( fannycradock Misses being Myra. Dismaydiator :(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:10, archived)

Ah.
Didn't want to take any real GCSE's then?:P
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:11, archived)

I think you'll find
it was an ADVANCED GNVQ.
And LOOK AT ME NOW!!! *cough*
( fannycradock Misses being Myra. Dismaydiator :(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:15, archived)

You've done so well
Could I have fries with that please?
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:16, archived)

GNVQ in Film Studies???!!!!????
What next?

Bitter because I couldn't do Film Studies at Uni, cos it was full. Took a couple of units as free units and got my only A's in three years. FUCK YOU UNL!!!!
( Joe Scaramanga The bitch hit me with a toaster, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:28, archived)

You were lookey!
I had my GCSEs, A levels and degree chosen for me by my father!
Man that backfired on him:P
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)