Trufax:
I once gave a date a Pot Noodle and claimed it was stir fry I had made from scratch. He thought it was excellent.

I am unmarried
( TheSundaeLunch, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 11:46, Reply)

you're a real catch.

( feckler it's only life, darling...., Sun 10 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Please form an orderly queue.
I have never been able to cook, and that's why god invented resteraunts.
( TheSundaeLunch, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)

That's a keeper right there

( Fadgebadger /links pedantic bellend, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 12:58, Reply)