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This is a link post How to catch a seagull in 6 easy steps
Would this work with cats?
(mutters mutters, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post kid's got the moves

(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post Step 5 was wrong
Should have been: Shit on seagull's head, then release
 (>NARF! Quality WTF chimp action, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:50, , Reply)
This is a normal post
Can't you just break its neck?
 (eagle-eye, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post then have sex with it?
I would.
 (I helped save b3ta! JamTallons, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post Oh dear me, no!
Have sex first! Then break its neck.

Then have sex with it again.

Then eat it. Mmmmmmmmmm!
 (I helped save b3ta! guffguff fuckes your gradeds balls!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post Liking your style!

(I helped save b3ta! JamTallons, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 19:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post Well, when you've raped as many seagulls as me...
it becomes a fine art.
 (I helped save b3ta! guffguff fuckes your gradeds balls!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 19:05, , Reply)
This is a normal post Then shit it out
and have sex with it again.
 (I helped save b3ta! Oysdgp there's nothing to smile ABOUT, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 19:07, , Reply)
This is a normal post *Gullp*

(bizzombie Thriller gorilla with a vanilla chinchilla, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post Seagull kiev!

(I helped save b3ta! eXOBeX, Sat 28 Aug 2010, 10:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post No,
Break it's neck while having sex with it, it squeezes like a good'un.
 (robbersdog, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 7:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post How very b3tan
I had a strong feeling Step 6 was going to say "...profit!"
 (Stephen Sondheim ..-. ..- -.- . -.- -.-- . .- ...., Mon 23 Aug 2010, 20:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post My late father, who came from a small croft on the Isle of Skye,
and his brother used to make their own 'kites' back in the late 1930s. As they had no money.... and no kite shops, it went something like this...

1) get long length of string
2) tie string to a wooden stick about 6" long
3) push stick down throat of a herring or mackerel
4) swing tethered fish around head and throw in air towards circling seagulls
5) seagull catches and greedily swallows fish whole
6) Et voila!... instant animated 'kite' that you don't even need a windy day to enjoy
 (I helped save b3ta! Flash_Bastard, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 0:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post Whilst fishing on the Isles of Scilly
a bastard seagull swooped down and pinched my bait, Unfortunately for the bird my bait was attached to my hook and he swallowed it and flew off. I grabbed the line and had myself a seagull kite. My dear friend grabbed the line and pulled. The hook was released and the seagull plummeted to the ground and lay there twitching. Scott put it out of its misery. I was the only one who didn't find it funny.
 (I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 9:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fishermen off Shetland
would put magnesium or somesuch explosive thing into a fish throw it in the air for the gulls. Then they would fly around on fire for a bit.
 (lib319, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 13:50, , Reply)
This is a normal post nothing so exotic
All you need to use is soluble tablets, something like solpadeine, which fizzes when wet. Birds can't burp to release the gas so it gets trapped until BANG!

...apparently
 (I helped save b3ta! SteamedCleaner, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 15:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post AT LEAST
with solphadiene it wouldn't hurt the poor thing! :)
 (Daw the Cunt Deffiency in keeping Wind since 1970, Sat 28 Aug 2010, 21:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post Is du fae Shetland?

(I helped save b3ta! rgordon00, Sat 28 Aug 2010, 9:24, , Reply)
This is a normal post Awesome production values.
Step 6 should be a part of every plan, every time.
 (I helped save b3ta! I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 5:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post Reminds me of Newquay
On a rather messy trip to Newquay for Run To The Sun, a friend was drunkenly trying to punch one of the massive chip stealing fuckers - I bet him a fiver he couldn't catch one - que a weekend of purile seagull chasing. Seagull-less, I still taunt him with the very same bet.

He has the linky - the bet is still on...
 (I helped save b3ta! z0mb13e has a bee in his botnet, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 21:44, , Reply)