Landrovers
I passed my test in 85 or somewhen and the families pride and joy was a short wheel base petrol Landrover. Economy? 12-22mpg. Handling? Had it up on two wheels once and regular slides during the summer, 2.5 tons and melting tarmac, etc. Steering was via some over engineered gearbox and meant 45 degrees of slack in the steering wheel. There was no such thing as a straight line. Winter was far worse cos of the Aluminium sheet bodywork. Freezing weather meant the panels shrank and thinned and the truck became so noisy earplugs were needed (with your date or mates - what a conversation piece). Brakes? Non-assisted Drum all round lead to a 2 second warm-up period followed by lock-up if not judged well. Driving past a Pub late one night there were some arguing drunks outside with yours truly doing a regular 30mph approach when one guy gives the other a shove out into the road. God was on his side that night, he held his balance. If he hadn't he would have been under the wheels and fucking dead. No question about it, just would never have stopped in time nor been able to swerve. There is something about the experience of being close to killing, not to mention its a fact that follows you for life if it happens. Youth of today? Subaru STD, grip stability and stopping, crumple zones and low front skirt - they don't know how lucky they are.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 18:34, 9 replies)

Erm...
Take a modern Land-Range-Whatever and break it a bit then try to fix that in nowhereland.
Landrovers exist for a reason.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 18:50, closed)

Do you exist for a reason?

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:18, closed)

I think it's to tell you you're an idiot.

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:13, closed)

Better men have tried. I mock you from afar with your pointless Jeremy Clarkson observations.
Now go away, before I call you Captain Slow.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:43, closed)

My observations have nothing to do with Jeremy Clarkson.
They are based on these things called "knowledge" and "experience". It really isn't my fault you don't understand that tools exist for a purpose and ones as popular as Land Rovers have endured because they are the best tools for the job.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 11:10, closed)

My knowledge and experience tells me that you are a pedantic tool and you are really good at it.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 14:55, closed)

There is a man lives across the road from my ex
Who has had one of these land rovers for over 35 years. He recently stripped it down to the base chassis and rebuilt it and its still functioning
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:58, closed)

Hippy wagons
Landrovers might well go almost anywhere but so can helicopters, its a job to understand how they were ever allowed on the road. Should have remained farm vehicles. Seeing as its a comedy forum I'll tell you another nearly bloody tale. Driving my van into a multi-storey with a good friend as passenger. Vehicle height is 6'2", ceiling is 6'6" , I am busy steering around the building and can hear the ariel tap the ceiling joists as I drive under. Turning left and my friend opens the window, without thinking he stands up and out to look at the top of the roof to see how close it all is. "Fucking hell" he says "a ceiling support almost took my head off". Left turn, flat van roof, 4" gap and angular concrete joists - how right he nearly was. Truly a head in hands moment.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 13:41, closed)

old land rovers may not have much to go wrong …
… but by ’eck could they go wrong of their own accord. My ’75 diesel SWB Q-plate full rebuild would happily blow starter motors (helpfully placed right behind the front wheel well for extra moisture retention), exhaust systems (though a full replacement only cost £30) and wiring (who knew that a corroded battery strap would cause a Landie to try to crank the engine via the cabin light wiring?) with dismal regularity.
( scruss, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 13:51, closed)