Special (Needs) Branch
Last one... (This is pre-9/11)

Had the inclination to go home to Dublin after being told that I had 7 days annual leave to take before the end of that month - otherwise I'd loose them. So I phoned a friend who works for a certain small airline that once flew from London City Airport. He promised to book the ticket (and get me a nice discount) for the next days mid-day flight.

Next day I arrive at City Airport (I've seen branches of Dixons bigger than that place) only to discover a note left at the desk by mate saying he couldn't book the tickets as the card details I gave him didn't go through (twat mixed up half the numbers). So I paid for the ticket right there in cash... which turns out to be something of a no-no.

So I'm halfway to the plane, walking down the tunnel towards tarmac when 3 men in dark suits and poorly concelled handguns appear infront of me and snatch my passport and boarding pass from my hand.

For 15 minutes I'm subjected to questions about my work, my home address, why I've got an Irish Passport but live and work in the UK (aparently that was a crime - I guess none of them had been to Liverpool or Kilburn). They even demanded the number of my (then) girlfriend who totally freaked out when her boss told her that some "Detective Inspector was phoning about your boyfriend" - I'm sure they were waiting for me to hand over my IRA membership card and give them the 'codeword'.

Still, they decided that I probably was telling the truth and allowed me to board the (still waiting) plane. I got a round of applause from the city-types. According to the very fit hostess, the 3 coppers were always stopping people in an effort to impress the flight crew.

TOP TIP: Don't turn up and pay in cash on the same day as your flight, aparently it looks 'dodgy' - and if you do, don't expect your luggage to be waiting for you at the other end, because it won't be....
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Sat 4 Mar 2006, 19:58, Reply)