the truth about cats and dogs
My mate got out of hospital after surgery. Feeling a bit low, she went to stroke kitty. Kitty was a bastard and took a swipe at her wrist, actually nicking a vein. The vein started to spurt like that butchered knight in Holy Grail. Naturally, this quite freaked my mate at the time. She went to the doctor the next day and had some trouble convincing him she was not having suicidal thoughts after her operation. She still carries the scar on her arm.

Dogs can be a bit evil too, can't they? We went to stay with friends in the country. They had the world's most spoiled chihuahua. It decided my six year old daughter was lower in the pecking order and bailed her up, barking like nuts whenever she left my side. My mate taught her to make herself big and scary by sticking her arms straight up in the air and dancing around like a nutter whenever the evil dog had a go. So, my daughter goes inside to watch telly, and guess what? We hear shouts of "Mum! Mum!" suddenly coming from the house. We run in and there's my little girl standing right up on top of the sofa back, dancing madly and frantically for dear life. That little turd of a dog is just leaping and yapping and going off at her - the bugger had sneaked in the door when we weren't looking to find the poor kid.

Of course, we all pissed ourselves laughing. There's nothing funnier than watching a six year old trying to dance a dog into submission.
(jube, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 1:48, Reply)