Back when I lived in Pommieland as a kid
The parents went out one night and the bloke from the couple across the road came over to babysit me and my brothers (one older, one younger). He spent the entire night sitting on the couch reading a book while we ran amok in scenes reminiscent of Lord Of The Flies.

After the ritual exchange of insults, things really kicked off when my younger brother, goaded beyond human patience by the taunts of my older brother, hurled a pot of strawberry yogurt. It hit OB on the chest, whereupon he seized YB by the ankle, dragged him screaming and clawing at the carpet upstairs to the bathroom, and proceeded to hold his head in the toilet and flush it repeatedly. This was followed by a free-for-all brawl around the house, older brother vs younger, with me fulfilling my role as the middle child by indiscriminately fighting both at once.

Upon my parents' return home, they asked the babysitter how the night had been. He closed his book and replied "Not too bad, they spent the entire night playing quietly". The next day my younger brother told them of the truth of the night and his toilet torture.

To his dismay, they found it hilarious.


Another time when my parents went out, they left my older brother to look after me on his own (I think YB was staying over at a friend's house), presumably since he had shown how mature and reasonable he was on the previous occasion. He decided that we should watch Cronenberg's "The Fly", which was showing on TV that night. Unfortunately for me, he fell asleep halfway through, leaving my 8-year-old self to watch it to the end alone. The parents returned home to find my brother in front of the TV snoring gently, and me cowering in a corner, brandishing a potato masher and wearing a saucepan on my head, gibbering about insectoid horrors.

Good times.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)