My mates were at the Comedy Club in London,
and insisted on sitting at the front row... despite the fact that they're all complete and utter chavs.

Jimmy Carr - "The hair gel crew are here tonight I see" *runs hand over their heads, making a "schlluuuuurrrrrp" sound.

To a particularly camp friend - "Look, I'm socially gay - I can tell when a woman has changed her hair, and compliment her on her shoes. But that does not mean I want your cock up my arse".

Friend - "I've seen you on Channel 4!". JC - "Really? Thanks for clearing that up! I thought their transmitters might be broken or something".

Shazia Mirza, the Muslim comedienne, shortly after September 11 - "Hello, I'm Shazia Mirza... at least, that's what it says on my pilot's license".

My mates saw her at the Comedy Club, and being a racist cnut, one of them started staring at her evilly.

SM - "Don't worry... I'm not going to blow myself up"
( Detrius521, Fri 30 Apr 2004, 21:20, Reply)