Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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When I was 19 I ordered something off the net.It was a Dirty Video.. Nothing seriously bad just men and women getting it on.
I ordered it from an American website, not knowing about the various customs laws at the time.
Fast Forward about two weeks, I'm in the car with my girlfriend and her dad he's driving to Liverpool. My mobile starts ringing its my Mum.
"Hello Carl(me)."
"Yeah mum whats up?"
"Theres two men from Customs and Excise here that need to speak to you about a video you've ordered."
Oh fuck!
I go a funny shade of white and arrange with the Customs Officers to make my way home as soon as possible.
I finally get back 1/2 an hour later, They've discussed it fully with my parents who both now know exactly what I ordered. They also search my room in case I'm running an Illegal Porn ring. Then they give me a warning and pootle off never letting me even see the video, which they've apparently had the terrible task of having to watch to check.
Bastards!
The worst part was having my Mum, Dad and girlfriend know all about it.
Mum and Dad have never mentioned it to this day 6 years later.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 11:38, Reply)
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