Bullshit and BullshittersWe've had questions about lies and liars in the past, but this time we're asking about the sort of fantasist who constantly claims they've got a helicopter in the garden or was "second onto the balcony at the Iranian Embassy siege". Tell us about the cobblers you've been told, or the complete lies you've come out with.
Thanks to dozer for the suggestion
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55)
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Bullshit ChrisWhen I was a spotty teenage rocker I would spend my Saturdays in town with all the other spotty teenage rockers. We would spend our time comparing how many chains we could hang from our ridiculously baggy jeans, sneering at people in Limp Bizkit hoodies and drinking cut-price vodka and cider from Eurowines, a shop that remained our firm favourite because it would seemingly serve anyone over the age of 5. This is where Bullshit Chris was usually to be found. Chris was sixteen but had already led a life fit for several autobiographies. Despite still being at school, Chris had been instrumental in designing and launching MSN messenger. "Really Chris? Mine keeps freezing," someone said to him. "Ah yes, I'll have to speak to Bill about that" was his reply.
Chris had an IQ well over 200. (Excerpt from an online conversation with him-"im at collidge.")
Chris had been on an SAS survival course in Russia where he had been given a special pack containing dehydrated water.
Chris once went to a weapons sale where there had been a shootout between the Mafia and the Triads. As everyone was dead he took what he wanted for himself to add to his private arsenal, which was already well stocked from his illegal purchases from the website "terroristworld.com." This arsenal included underwater grenades.
Chris could get tanks to his location within 5 minutes with just one phonecall. He was going to do this next time Robbie Williams decided to play a concert nearby, or simply take him out with his sniper rifle.
Chris had a brain tumor that would tragically cut his life short within 5 years. However, if he concentrated and went "HNNNGH" really hard he could transfer all of his brain power into the left, non-tumorous side which allowed him to retain his crazy high IQ.
He also got laid. All the time. With like, women and everything.
In retrospect it was extremely sad as he clearly knew no one believed a word he was said. It had simply reached the point where it was easier to not call him on his bullshit and laugh at his ludicrous stories as any attempt to pick holes in his stories would just result in a redoubled effort to prove he was telling the truth. Nearly a decade later I still wonder what became of him. He was an endless source of entertainment.
(, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 20:38, Reply)
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