happy nude year!
one new year's eve, back when i was about 18, my friend and i decided to get utterly shitfaced in the local drinking hovel. by the time the horns went off(i live very close to the docklands), we were wasted. we were also skint. wishing my mate a happy new year, i wobbled my drunken way home.
as soon as i got through the door, my bladder gave me the old 3-minute warning.
now, i may be alone on this one, but does anyone else feel the need to take off all their clothes for a piss when they're drunk? well, i do.
having relieved myself, sitting in the warmth of the bathroom, right next to the radiator, i decided to take a little nap.
an hour later, i was rudely awoken by the sounds of my brother hammering on the front door and yelling "let me in, you fat cunt!". he's such a charmer.
i shot off the throne, ran downstirs and opened the door to my irate sibling.
stark. bollock. naked.
the looks of shock on the faces of him and my sister's boyfriend(who he'd been drinking with) as they caught me doing my naked thang were a sight to behold. as, i imagine, was i.
with a loud, guttural scream, my brother began to kick me up the stairs, yelling constantly and calling me all the names he could think of. now, you may think i'd be embarrassed by this, but as it's a bit hazy, i don't really give a shit. besides, i managed to mentally scar my brother for the rest of his natural life, so it's all good.

length? a good ten seconds before the screaming started.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 21:25, 6 replies)

tut
Some brothers have no sense of humour...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 22:37, closed)

true
i don't mind, though.
he grew up to be a cunt.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 0:59, closed)

Ah, see - when I was about 11, I came out of the bathroom, and my older sister was with her friend in the living room, so I flashed them as I went past ...
I didn't bank on my sister having her camera with her.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 8:43, closed)

i walked out of the bathroom naked last year
forgetting that my 12-year-old nephew was staying with me. he chose that exact moment to come and ask me something.
i'm still not sure which one of us screamed loudest.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 11:53, closed)

nakedness
I don't necessarily feel the urge to pee naked when drunk but I do always find my clothes in a pile at the front door the day after, as though they fall off me as I enter the house in a perfect pile, shoes at the bottom, shirt on top etc. Very disturbing!
(mr_spongmonkey, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 11:52, closed)

that's happened to me, too
but i know why ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:30, closed)