Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
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chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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My Sister the Goblin.At the age of 5... my little sister wanted to be Oliver Twist. She watched the film literally every day and one day decided that it was time to take action. She had to look more like a boy... Using a large pair of kitchen scissors she began cutting all her hair off while rocking along to 'consider yourself' until all that was left was a freak of a child... gashes, head-stubble, clumps of hair here and there... at least, she thought, she looked more like an orphaned boy than a goblin.
Dad wasn't too pleased and she wasn't even allowed to go to school for a month for fear of shaming the family.
(, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 7:55, Reply)
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