Brushes with fame…
1.Used to go out with Jarvis Cockers cousin when I was at uni.
2.Met the lead singer of Babybird and sung “You’re gormless” at him whilst working in the Hilton hotel.
3.Almost met international superstar and crazy man Frank Bruno whilst working at the same hotel but he cancelled at the last minute.
4.Met the guy who used to play Terry Duckworth in Coronation street – I had no idea it was him until someone pointed him out and then I still had to ask.
5.Served Eric Knowles of Antiques Roadshow fame a pint of real ale, and H.ugh Scully from aforementioned programme a small glass of wine.
6.Saw Jamie Oliver at a petrol station in Nottingham – that scooter and camper van must have just been for telly as he was actually in a 4x4.
7.My wife’s mother went to Pierce Brosnan’s 6th birthday party.
8.My dad went to Brian Clough’s house to dust for fingerprints and take some photos when Nigel Clough had his BMW scratched by some scrote.
9.One of my mates had an episode of Peak Practice filmed at his house – the one where someone gets pushed through a conservatory. That was his conservatory that was.
10.A lad I knew at school went to prison and shared a cell with the singer of Return of the Mac, Mark Morrison.
11.I was on one of those crappy Saturday afternoon localised telly programmes about things to do in the local area – this one happened to be clubbing at Progress in Derby. I was on telly for about 5 seconds with pokemon t-shirt, spikey hair waving a wooden spoon about. My mum and dad were so proud.

That is all. No apologies required.
(Bertie Dastard Wax on, wax off, Tue 1 Mar 2005, 17:26, Reply)