Complaint letter to the UK porn channel - television X

[email protected]

Dear sir / Madam (probably Sir)

I write to you with the best of intentions.

It has come to my attention (no puns intended) that the porn (or Adult entertainment) industry is severely lacking in cinematic delivery.

This is not good enough. The British public are not that easily satisfied, we DEMAND better actors and set-pieces - not just fresh faced young bimbo's and cardboard studios, we WANT exciting and witty dialogue, intricate storylines and recognisable talent.

Instead, this seems nothing more than trashy copulation, that to be quite frank, I could perform with my eyes closed. We are not interested in big-boobed women talking utter smut to the camera - we want black and white long shots of post-war industrial ruins, metaphors for consumerism and how Britain strives to find its own identity in a fast paced corporate world.

Your 'characters' such as Kerry Louise performing as Nurse are terribly unbelievable. Being totally honest, if she were a real NHS employee , i would have had her sacked a long time ago. The same goes for 'power girls' - none of these women resemble the super hero's of my youth, if a REAL antagonist was to threaten the UK, then i'm pretty sure these girls wouldn't last five seconds.

Thus, i propose you allow me to re-write some of your scenes and if possible provide your company with some REAL narrative structure , engaging dialogue and the occasional car chase. You don't even have to pay me much, just a few hundred quid or so.

So please... please.. please... Stop trying to 'dumb' us down with trashy scenes and fake lust - we the British are not stupid - all we ask is for a little more cinematographical thought and less smut.

Kind regards

(Mr Lizard)
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:12, 1 reply)

You are Robin Cooper
AICMFP
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 16:20, closed)