Mary Jane
Ok, so its the late 90's and me and a small group of mates have just had the mother of all nights clubbing and popping pills on london. 4am outside the ministry of sound and we've all much a fair amount of smarties. Kicking out time and we decide we need to get some weed or we're never gonna get to sleep. On the way to a cab station i phone my regular dealer who's none too pleased about being woken at that time in the morning but see's the pounds signs in his eyes so tells us to make our way to clapham asap to pick up the gear. we get the bus to away from the center of london nearer to south london and we are walking to the next cab station en route to pick up the weed. by this time dawn is breaking, we're still quite high and talking loudly and (as were still high on smarties) everybody and anybody are our friends. En route to cab station we are overheard taking about scoring the green. we are overheard by two characters, one a 6'5 skinny dreadlocked guy wearing a long leather coat like an extra from the matrix, and the other his sidekick (small hooded mike tyson lookalike).

'are you guys after some weed?' they say

'yes mate, can you get some?' we reply

'yes bruv, we got some round our gaff mate, follow us'.

Now this is where the fun begins..bearing in mind we are still very high. Stupidly I offer to get a cab to thier 'gaff' as we were going to get a cab to clapham any way. so me and a mate (all others had dwindled off by now) and the two complete randoms we've just met 15 seconds ago are in a cab to fucknows where and I'm paying for the cab!. During the cab ride, me and my mate talk the usual shit to strangers you do when your'e high on pills, the other must have thought we were right wankers and I also call us my regular dealer and cancel the order which he's none to pleased about. anyhoo...a 15min cab ride later and we get to our destination. i offer to go inside to get the gear, but they insist i give them the money and we wait in the car whilst they sort it out(alarm bells dont ring as im fucked off my head). i hand over £40 to them and watc them walk into a huge high rise block of falts with a communal front door. 5 mins, 10 mins, 20 mins pass and there is no sign of them. By this time the cabbie is fed up waiting so i need to fork out another £15 quid to him which leaves me completey out of money. So, its around 5.30am in the morning and muggins here has just given £40 to two complete strangers on the premise they were getting me some weed and paid for thier cab home only for them to have fucked off, and i've got no money to get me home. not wanting to accept defeat (and i'm starting to come down off the pills) me and mate decide to go into the door of the high rise blocks our drug mercants went into and decide to buzz about 50 buzzers explaining that we are looking for two black guys who went into get us some weed 40 mins ago and we are still waiting outside. Cue retorts of 'fuck off' 'theyre not here' 'do you know what time it is'. after waitng for an hour we decide that we've been skanked big style, and not only that we have to walk the best part of 4 miles to get home as we have no cash. that was the easiset con in the world for those fuckers...two drugged up pill poppers who gave them 40 quid and paid for thier cab home withi 15 seconds of meeting them. they must have lauged themselves to sleep that night, much to my chagrin.

anyway..lesson learned...never trust two dodgy looking blokes who say they will get you weed at 5.30 am in the morning in south london, no matter how pilled up you are. and its funny how pills really alter your sense of judgement. just say no! i learned the hard way. in hindsight we could have been killed or stabbed, so i guess i got off lightly.

ps excuse the spelling errors but i cant be fucked to go thorough and correct them
(CaptainFellatioNelson is trying to kill me, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 14:11, Reply)