Family fun
A couple of years ago, after the first game of the rugby season, post-match drinks turned into a pub crawl round town, ending in that tacky "nightclub" that every town must have, with sticky floors and the same songs played every Saturday night, all the way from Take Me Home Country Road to the extended Bohemian Rhapsody megamix. Which all seems brilliant when you're ripped to the tits. While the young bucks were trying to look cool and attract the attentions of the pretty young things, I just reverted to my usual stratagem of barging onto the stage and dancing in every woman's face until one reciprocated or they'd all recoiled in disgust. My luck was in that night, as it wasn't long before I'd been grabbed like a man trap by a pair of firm thighs in leather trousers. My first reaction was that she must have been about 45 (12 years my senior at the time), but she wasn't showing much wear and tear, so I was quite happy for the groping to continue. The groping soon went into trousertown, which swiftly sobered me up enough to become aware of where I was - fortunately this meant me quickly manoeuvring her over to a darker corner, as before I knew it she'd pierced my brown eye with a pointy finger (not something I'd ever encountered before).

At this point I was under no doubt at all that I was in for a fun and likely sordid night, but the surprises kept coming when she took her tongue out of my ear long enough to ask me "Have you ever done it with a mother and daughter?". I answered in the negative, being a purely factual answer, but while my brain was still trying to fathom what I ought to do next, she'd already guided me through the doors to the cab rank. When the taxi set off I decided to reason that was the point of no return, and started thinking about the juicy possibilities that lay ahead - concentrating more on the fact that I'd never had a threesome and the biological likelihood that her daughter would be in pretty fine nick than on thinking "what kind of family does that kind of thing?!". As the "heavy petting" continued all my apprehensions disappeared, and in no time at all she was sticking her key in the front door of a red brick semi on a pretty grim council estate. I confidently strode over the threshold with my chest puffed out, to hear her yell upstairs "Mum! Mum! Are you awake?"
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:07, 3 replies)

PS
The events in the first paragraph are true, the events in the second paragraph are for entertainment porpoises only - I don't have anything to add to this QOTW unless I can think of something punny.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:08, closed)

hehe
Good one and clicked.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:53, closed)

nice
punchline
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Sat 6 Dec 2008, 6:15, closed)