Bristol City Council .... home of the Mk 1 lazy council git
I used to believe that police officers were there to protect the law-abiding and arrest criminals, and that council staff were honest dedicated people whose vocation in life was to help the citizens of the local area.

OK, let's deal with council staff first. In 1991, I moved to a shared house in Bristol. After a while, the register of voters form arrived, so I filled in my details and left it out for the others to fill in. It soon vanished, so I assumed it had been sent off.

In April 1992, it was announced that there would be a General Election. I was a little suspicious that the form might not have been sent off, so I wandered off to the Council office to check. I was sent to a little serviing hatch which opening into the room where the dealt with the register of voters. It transpired that there were no voters registered at my address. Oh dear, says I.

"No problem" she says, "You can fill in this form to register". So I do, and I give her the form. "You won't be able to vote in the General Election, though", she adds.

"Oh? Why not?".

So she explains that you need to be registered as a voter for a full 6 weeks prior to an election, in order to avoid fraud. "But, its err, umm... [counts on fingers]... 8 weeks until the election??"

Ah hah .... but there is further cunning in her plan. You see, they allow us to put the form in whenever we want, but they keep them in a little box until they process them. Once a month. And they did it last week, so they won't be doing it again for another three weeks. Which will leave me with only 5 weeks to go. She showed me the box - it had about 4 forms in it, including mine.

"Why can't you just do an extra inputting session 6 weeks before the General Election??" Ah ... it seems that would be an extra effort and they can't stretch to that.

Too much effort ... this is four forms, once every four years. And it's not as if there is any extra work - they would just be doing it earlier than normal, not as well as other stuff.

She explained that they were really busy. As I mentioned, the hatch opened into the room ... allowing a view of the many people lazing around doing sod all. Hmmm... this is obviously the alternative definition of "really busy".

"Why can't you date the entry onto the Register from today?" Ah, that would be fraud apparently. "Why would it??" Because it would so there. She gave a look which said "This is a Council Office; kindly stop trying to think".

So one lazy git of a council worker refused me my democratic birthright because she couldn't be arsed to type my details into her computer within 2 weeks of me giving her the form.

And the police? Shall we just say that (a) I drive a car, (b) members of my family have been burgled, and (c) I have perceived a slight difference in the vigour with which plod has dealt with drivers vs burglars. Nuff said?

So, of my childhood beliefs there is only Father Christmas. I'd be grateful if you could break that one gently, please.

Length? About three weeks, apparently.
(patently Was somewhere else on, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 14:53, Reply)