Patrick Swayze, Hollywood Actor
I have a two-foot-high Patrick Swayze living under my bed at night.
I keep him on a piece of five-foot-long nylon fishing line, and I like him.
He's a perfectly formed little man with his head in perfect proportion to his body.
"Oh Swayze, I'm better than you!"
I measure him every second night at random, if you know what I mean.
With a Steadler clear Steadler plastic 24-inch ruler.
'Cos he's 24 inches long, so I measure him with a ruler.
And if he's grown he's in trouble.
Then it's "Swayze, you've grown! Swayze, you've grown!"
But my favourite is the Elvis gear.
My favourite is when my mum went to John Lewis and picked up a pattern,
To make into a white Elvis jumpsuit,
And this Elvis jumpsuit is two-feet high, with 'SWAYZE' in rhinestones on the back.
"Swayze! Get that bleeding Elvis gear on, now!"
I like the Elvis gear, that's one of my favourites, now downhill all the way.
At night my friends come round.
Swayze serves us cocktails wearing men's, but women's suspenders and stockings and stilettos.
'Cos that's what I tell him to wear.
"Swayze! Where the flipping hell is my gin and tonic and bloody mary?"
So then we get the gaffer tape out, and after that we wrap him up in gaffer tape.
"Swayze, it's pass the parcel! You're the parcel. You're the prize."
It's not even that interesting.
It's just a little two-feet-high Patrick Swayze.
It's just a little 24-inch-high Hollywood actor.
Doesn't really interest us any more.
( Zuowan, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 0:56, 2 replies)

Well,
That certainly made me cringe.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 9:20, closed)

that gets
a click, just for being so demented
(knackerz is skinning up, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 7:32, closed)