Probably should have cringed...
...but I was too pissed off.

A couple of years ago when I was living in Wigan, my wheelybin got nicked in early December*. I called the council to report it and get another and was told I'd have another 'soon'. Two weeks later I had no word from the council and no new bin, and the local binmen being the workshy arse-scratching fuckers they were, there was a pile of binbags building up where my bin used to be.

I called the council again from work to restate my request, where rather snotty lady told me that I'd have to pay for a new one. I expressed my displeasure in a diplomatic fashion, stating that I'm not the one who stole it and failed to see why I should pay for it. She asked me to hold for a moment. A workmate had been listening and was as surprised as I was that I should get stung for this.

Mate: 'Like getting blood from a stone, eh?'
Me: 'Is right. What the fuck do I pay my council tax for?'
Snotty Bint (who had obviously been listening all along): 'I'll thank you to mind your language when talking to me'

That was it - I'd had enough. The ignorance of my first request was the latest in a long line of fuckups courtesy of the Wigan municipality. Given this and the general 'fuck xmas' mindset I had that year, I was in no mood to be dressed down like a four-year-old.

Me: 'Oh there's no need to thank me, it's not going to happen. Firstly I was, as far as I was aware, on hold and therefore not talking to you so my previous statement is none of your business. Secondly, given your organisations's seeming inability to do even the simplest thing right first time, my usually respectable xmas cheer is in short, SHORT supply right now so if you want to chastise someone then take a stroll and find someone who'll stand for it because I'm. Not. Him.'
Her: 'Er. Right'
Me: 'So, am I going to get a new bin or are you simply going to allow my place to be eventually dwarfed by the growing pile of bin bags that your men are too lazy to pick up for the lack of one?'
Her: 'Er. We'll have one dropped off in the next couple of days'.
Me: 'Now, wouldn't it have been easier if you had just said that a fortnight ago?'
Her (frostily, not that I gave a fuck by this point): 'I suppose it would have.'
Me: 'Well at least we agree on something. If no bin materialises by the end of this week then you'll be hearing from me again. One more thing we'll agree on is that you don't want that to happen."
Her: 'Yes. Is there anything else I can help you with?'
Me: 'If there were, I'm not sure I'd dare ask for fear of ending up as irritated as I am now. Goodbye.'

They appeared to get the message that time - I had a bin again inside of two days. And no fucker asked me to pay for it either.

Cringing is for pussies.

* And anyway, who in thier right fucking mind would pilfer a used and not-recently-washed domestic refuse bin? Fucking morons.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:29, 3 replies)

I've just had a run-in with Sky
And after ranting down the phone for the fifteenth time and generally expressing my displeasure at their total lack of interest in their customers, the daft bastard on the other end of the phone asked me if I could be induced to sign up for Sky Talk.

I can't remember exactly what I replied to that - something incoherent no doubt - and then he asked if there was anything else he could help me with. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to finish on a fine line like you did. Rather than just snarling No Thank You through teeth so tightly gritted that my jaw still aches.
(richardm, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:39, closed)

Swearing at telephone monkeys is never cool.
No click.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:50, closed)

Au contraire
Click
(BearWithLittleBrain, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:12, closed)