Okay, I do have stories on topic, but I've been waiting to post this tale.
Sorry for this being off-topic, but I wanted to wait for the new question so that you could all share it with me.

So last night I left the office around 6:00, one of the few stragglers still here at the end of the day. I took my lunch bag and my iPod and went to my car- an elderly Isuzu Amigo- and opened the door to toss them in, when I heard a car horn beep. Puzzled, I looked around, and spied a man sitting inside a brand new silver Corvette waving me over.

“Hey, can you help me get out? I’m stuck in here!”

I looked at him for a moment, the obvious question going through my head.

“Can you try opening the door from the outside?” he asked, sweat rolling down his face as he baked in the August sunlight.

“Sure.” I grabbed the door handle and tugged, and realized that my hand was holding onto a pressure switch- there was no mechanical latch. And the door refused to open.

“I think the battery is dead. Do you have jumper cables?”

I looked in the Amigo, but no such luck- the cables were in the other car. “Hang on, I’ll see if anyone inside has a set of cables.”

I went back into the building and found my boss. “Hey, do you have a set of jumper cables?”

“No, I don’t have a car- I ride a bike to work. Why, what’s wrong?”

“You know the silver Corvette that’s always in the parking lot? It belongs to (really big boss’s name here). He’s trapped in it- it has electronic door latches and he can’t get out.”

My boss gaped for a moment, then howled with laughter. The few remaining people in the office prairie-dogged in their cubicles to see what was going on, so I repeated my request for cables and my explanation of why. There was much laughter, but no cables.

I trotted back outside to Big Boss, who was now soaking wet inside his closed car with the black interior in the sun. “No such luck. Hey, can you open the trunk?”

He tried the key fob again, with no result- but then remembered a lever near the floor, and the hatch popped open. I raised it and felt the heat wash out of there. “Well, if nothing else you can crawl out this way,” I told him. “Meanwhile I have a friend who lives not far from here- I’ll call him and get him to bring cables.”

Richard is an old friend, one of my classmates from engineering school, and a true car geek. Richard was puzzled as I tried to explain what was going on, and finally agreed to bring cables and I’d explain it to him when he arrived. About ten minutes later he roared in driving his own silver Corvette and pulled up alongside Big Boss. I ran through the explanation again, and he chuckled and got out his cables. We hooked them up and Big Boss tried to start the car again- no luck.

“Crap!” I said to Richard. “If it’s not the battery, what else could it be?”

“I dunno, but at least I can open the door.” Richard reached into the trunk and tugged on a loop of very fine steel cable, and there was a click. Big Boss emerged from his car, looking relieved.

“Damn, you’d think that Chevy would realize that this is a major design flaw!” I said with a laugh. “The only electronics in my car are in the stereo, and it’s broken right now.”

Richard looked into the car. “Hey, the lights are on now, and the windshield wipers are going.”

Big Boss pressed his keyfob, and the lights flashed. He pressed again and the car roared to life. Three engineers looked at each other, puzzled. “I guess opening the door reset something,” Big Boss commented.

“Well, there should be another door release under the front seat somewhere,” Richard said. “It should be in the owner’s manual.”

I chuckled. “I think maybe you’d better find out where it is and make sure you know how to find it again, just in case.”

Big Boss agreed with a wry smile. I shook his hand. “See you here tomorrow.” He thanked me, offered Richard some money (which he refused), and left.

When he was out of our sight I about fell over with laughter. “The best part is, that guy’s an engineer!”

Richard’s eyes bugged. “You’re kidding!”

“No! He’s the Director of Technology here!” And I cracked up again.

I haven’t seen Big Boss in here yet this morning. I suspect that he’ll do the Sneak In Of Shame at some point- but as his office is right next to mine, he can’t go undetected.

Poor guy- pwn3d by his own car.

Priceless.

EDIT: I've concluded that the Corvettes must run on Microsoft, because periodically you have to close all the windows and get out of the car and get back in again for it to run...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:50, 6 replies)

quite possibly
the funniest thing I have read/seen all day (though some of those videos on off-topic came close)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:55, closed)

I like it
even better if CCTV had caught the whole thing ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 19:16, closed)

hehehe
the padded version is even better than the taster you posted the other day!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 19:40, closed)

A friend of mine...
...was a professor of engineering at Oxford. He took his brand new Renault back to the dealers twice because the doors kept unlocking. Then they explained about the proximity switch system.
(ubergeekian, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 19:50, closed)

Fantastic!
That should teach him to stay away from posh cars.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 21:12, closed)

And yet more proof
to the addage that the more important and high up the person is, the chances are the less they actually know.

Excellent tale - I can only imagine how happy you were to have been there to catch that!
(Nogin the Nog is the good one! Beware Nogbad the Bad!, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 11:30, closed)