when i was
a 15 year old swipe, my dad was a director at one of the big banks, let's say natwest. he sat me down at the end of my summer term and said, "let's talk about your pocket money. how does £4 an hour sound?"

"brilliant!" i enthused, naively.

"then you'll come and work for me mon-fri answering the switchboard at the bank."

oh.

the job was so fucking tedious, spouting "good morning, natwest stockport, rswipe speaking, how may i help you?" about 137 times an hour.

but every now and then it was enlivened by an idiot. such as the woman who rang me and asked to speak to "mr crittenden". i was quite new, and i'd never heard the name. i put her on hold and searched for him. nope. nothing.

"we don't have a mr crittenden."

"you ignorant girl. he's the head of your branch," the woman snarled. "put me through at once."

"but the head of our branch is mr swipe," i said, bewildered.

"i will tell mr crittenden when i get through to him," the woman threatened. this useless debate went on for some time. eventually, she got truly irate, and said, "right. i am going to ring the head office of barclays in london and complain about you."

barclays?

"barclays?"

"yes."

"but this is natwest," i pointed out, as i had done the first second i picked up the phone.

seconds later, all i could hear was the purr of the dialling tone and the egg bubbling all over her face. twat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:41, 3 replies)

Brilliant
I can imagine doing this myself too.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:42, closed)

next time
(ok there wont be one of them but stick with me)

put them on hold, put on a deep voice, and pretend to be the guy. Just get weirder and weirder.

My line is 1 digit different from the tax office down the road. I get calls all the time. I've started taking the odd query now, i've even given people reference numbers for the incidents they think they're logging. I'm going to start asking for private information soon, see what I can get.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 18:26, closed)

Haha this is win!
*click*
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 22:14, closed)