American tourists in Prague
I'll start by saying that I have nothing against American tourists - in fact I wish that the English stag-night crowds who fly out to Prague on Scumair were half as polite and well-behaved. But this story concerns two US couples who were, to put it politely, rather naive.

I was in one of my local bars in Prague chatting to a barman I'm on good terms with when two middle-aged American couples walked in. They asked about the pub's happy hour prices. My Czech barman friend speaks very little English so I was happy to translate, and it transpired that the Americans were referring to an old decorative poster in the hallway from a 30's New York bar that mentioned a happy hour. That should have been that, but no. One of the US guys insisted that I complain to the barman on their behalf about the misleading information given in the bar and suggest that the offending poster be removed forthwith. This I refused to do, and from there the conversation became quite surreal.

"You speak great English," said one of the tourists.
"Well thanks," I said, "but I am actually English so I don't really deserve such praise."
"But that ain't possible! When we came in you were talking Russian or Yugoslavian or whatever darn thing you speak over here."
I went on to explain that I now live over here and regard learning the language of one's adopted country as a high priority, hence I speak Czech pretty fluently. Not wanting to sound arrogant about it, I made a lame joke about not all Brits being monolingual.
"Man! Monolingual! That's great, y'know, you really do speak damn good English!"

And so it went on - I was unable to convince them that English is my native tongue. I gave up. Some arguments you just can't win.
(eesnahk, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 22:06, 5 replies)

ah
been there... went out with a group of expats in Prague one night, and a mad american asked how we managed to speak such good english. it hadn't occurred to him that maybe non-czechs would go out in Prague too.
( ascorbate, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 22:50, closed)

B3tans in Praha!
Hi, Are you still in Praha? If so fancy a beer?

I've just got back here after a hellish 9month stint in the uk and really need to increase my social circle... Also I'm kind of keen to meet people in unusual circumstances.

I'm in Dejvice so if you're at all interested let me know, I'm not doing this through the message thing in your profile because this missive could, (long shot) lead to a Praha B3ta Bash...
(furby, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 21:00, closed)

i hate that!
every time i go on holiday, i get some spaniard or german asking me where in wales i'm from. i'm not welsh! i've never lived in wales! i'm bloody english!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 23:35, closed)

Greece
Many years ago we went for a cheapo last minute break in Greece. Ate out, had a few beers, wanted a pizza to chomp on the way home to soak up the pints.

Found a place, ordered the pizza and the guy handed it over and wished me a 'Guten Nacht'; I replied 'danke, guten Nacht auch' then realised- he thought I was German, or worse- Swiss! How dare he?! I waltzed of into the night muttering quietly about not being a fucking sausage muncher or whatever.

Bumped into him the next lunchtime when he bade me a cheery 'Good morning my friend'. Bugger @ him and his many languages, and @ me for not muttering as quietly as I thought I had.

Disclaimer: I'm no 'Brit on the piss' abroad and I never go to English bars or restaurants, I always try the local places and food, and try to learn a few words; I work for a German firm and the shock of someone thinking I still wear snow wash denim on my week off work away from them just sent me a little 'anti our EU brethren' for a moment. Apologies to anyone offended and please call the BBC helpline at the end of this message if you were affected by this post.
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 11:10, closed)

Whenever this happens to me
I say straight back, and you speak pretty good english too........
(astrosinmyeyes is hoping Manson is released before, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:23, closed)