Another techy related answer
I used to work on providing support for a very early TV Internet package, where the customer was sent a box which had dialup settings built into it's software and a basic browsing, email and chat package all thrown in. The device itself was a bit cumbersome and tended to get fucking boiling hot, but alot of the elderly liked having the fire risk in their home as it gave them INTERNETS without needing a computer.
As well as the elderly, we had some right pervs who used it and due to the nature of the system (ie not Windows based) it encountered alot of conflictions depending on what the customer was trying to browse. It couldn't download any files, any attachments on emails would cause it to crash, it didn't support many versions of Flash etc etc. It done bugger all really, except generate alot of work for me.
3 customers from hell stand out on this, plus 1 good customer too (it involves some happy days).

1. The customer called us, having trouble getting his email. I clone the account into Outlook Express on my office computer and setup an IMAP account (this allows me to read the emails waiting on the server and delet any problem ones). Only 3 emails waiting, one of which has an attachment. There's his prob thinks I, and I mention it to the customer. He asks politely "What's in it then?" I open it up rather foolhardily and find 3 jpgs in there. "Oh, just 3 pictures sir, nothing to worry about." I open up the first pic and am happily greeted by two boys, one of which is sucking off the other. I flick the mute button on the phone very quickly and shout "WHAT THE SHUDDERING FUCK!!!??", to which my manager runs over and goes "What the fuck are you looking at? GET IT OFF THE SCREEN." Me hitting high pitched "It's not fucking mine!!! It's this dirty bastard on the phone, fucking hell!" Odd looks all shift from the manager ensured.

2. Another customer cannot get into his emails. I do the same thing as above and find he's got 200+ emails sitting there. "That's your problem sir, you got too much stored in there. Can I delete them to make space for the new emails?" I get the verbal nod and start to check each email that he's got as I am deleting them. They all had some embedded pictures on each mail with him and his missus drinking in a pub....then him and his missus in bed. Then him and his missus doing each other in bed. Then his missus chatting to another girl in the pub. Then him doing the other girl in the same bed. Then all 3 of them chatting in the pub. Then all 3 of them in bed.
Lucky cunt.

3. LOL, I cannae fucking count.
A guy called RRM for short, as I can still remember his fucking name. He complained about EVERYTHING, swore at me and other staff and any occasion and I got every sort of decision critisized and scrutinized by this bastard of a man. I got him fixed, as in I got one of the boxes sent direct to me, I got all of his details stored on it and sent it out ready for him to use. He still rung back complaining about the courier too. One of his greatest comments was when I asked him "I know you have had lots of problems getting this going, so for me to get the best idea of what is going on with his, I'm going to need to start again from scratch. So firstly can I take your email address please?" "DO YOU THINK I'M A FUCKING MUG?" "No, I would've just called you that mate. Seriously, what is your email addres please?" Utter utter cunt.

4. A happy granny calls in and announces that the only time she can get the tv internet box working is when she punches the side of it. "Cool, that makes you the FONZ! When you hit it, do you shout "EHHHHHHHHHHHH, Sit on it!" Please say you do." I got her to do it too while getting a few guys on the team to listen in :D For a granny she rocked.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 9:49, Reply)