Caravan grill
We were staying in a tautoloigically shitty caravan.

For breakfast we had to make toast in the gas grill. The grill was scary. It could only be lit by turning it on, lighting a match, then moving that match to the back of the grill - then the whole of the top of the grill caught fire, and you had to pull your arm out very quickly before it got burnt.

Burnt arm is not as nice as yummy toast.

The grill was scary.

One morning I was the first up, and the hungriest, so I had to start the grill.

The grill was scary.

So I turned the gas on, crouched down lit the match, and held it just outside the grill while I tried to psyche myself up.

"That's funny" I thought "I can smell burning. The grill isn't on yet, where's that coming from"

When you are crouched in front of the grill, the area just outside the grill is just below your face.

The area just outside the grill is where I was holding the match.

I keep my nose on the front of my face.

To put it another way "the firey bit" was directly under my nose.

"Ah", I thought "the burning smell is coming from inside my nose". I didn't like it.

If you are ever in this situation I recommend breathing in through the mouth and out through the nose as hard as you can until danger has passed. Later on you may want to feel like a complete bellend.

Maybe start eating cornflakes?
(teebie jeebie, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)