pimp my drawers
During my weekend job at B+Q, my duties included putting together various flat-pack furniture for display. I was aided in this by an ex-army guy who was perpetually sweating alcohol and stealing from the shop floor.

I particularly recall a white melamine three-drawer unit we attempted to construct. As usual, various bits and pieces were missing from the pack and we were forced to improvise, taking advantage of the entire superstore of DIY materials at our disposal. A missing screw? We just bonded it with some epoxy resin. A missing joining bracket? We bashed a nail through the joint and hid the damage with filler and paint. Not enough knobs? We tossed them all and customised our drawers with something more attractive. A sticking rail? We just ripped it out and nailed the drawer permanently in place.

After we'd completed it, we noticed that the top was on back to front, so we got a roll of melamine and glued it on over the raw chipboard, painting any exposed bits with Dulux. For some reason, it didn't sit straight, so we sawed a bit off the base and stuck some blu-tack under it. Job done.

On the display, and from a few metres away, it looked great. But it was no more than a pile of functionless junk held together with nails, glue and imagination. And the cost of it's production -taking into account all the materials we'd used - was about the same as a nice, genuine wood chest of drawers.
(frankspencer, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 12:35, 3 replies)

Hooray!
This still contains smut:
screw
nail
knobs
tossed
top on back to front
exposed bits
chest
drawers

*giggles* and *click*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 16:58, closed)

^^
exposed bits!

*chuckles*

Good spot
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 18:38, closed)

^ ^ ya'll missed a few....
various bits
taking advantage
bonded
joining
bashed
filler (fill-her...yeah, that one is a reach)
sticking
nailed
bit off the base
Job done


wow, I need to get laid. All these posts are starting to look like smut.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 9 Apr 2008, 20:31, closed)