Ubergeekian has reminded me
Microsoft internet connection troubleshooter: " ...This troubleshooter has been unable to fix your internet connection. For more information, go to our website". Fuck you Microsoft, just fuck you.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:10, 7 replies)

Has a Microsoft help wizard ever in the history of the world
ever solved a problem?

Also, like yours I similarly usually end up with 'contact your system administrator'.

Which would be me.
(username failed moderation, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:15, closed)

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( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:31, closed)

if yes, click no. If no, click cancel.

(username failed moderation, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 16:51, closed)

This program is not responding
Windows is attempting to fix the problem

No. No it isn't. It's just pissing away my time before I inevitably have to close the window with all my unsaved data in it.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:38, closed)

That's rather sceptical.
What it's doing is compiling an error report to send back to Microsoft. It will then immediately be ripped from a chattering teleprinter, and rushed upstairs to a developer who will immediately set to work on fixing the problem.

A hand delivered explanation will then be sent to you, with a pack of money off coupons for things like washing up liquid.

Happens all the time. I got a set of picnic plates for £12 last week, when Excel crashed.
(username failed moderation, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 16:54, closed)

Yeah!
..because who the fuck has more than one route into the internet these days?
(Kyzia was here on, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 17:29, closed)

No...
It's an unexpected error has occurred - what as opposed to the one you *were* expecting? /grumps

/pats lovely linux install :P
(bottle_cap, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 14:31, closed)