I've never been drunk,
so I'll regale you with tales of my dad instead.

Whilst being drunk, he has (thankfully not all on the same occasion):
- pretended to be a gay penguin.
- told me to become a communist and move to Hungary.
- tried to catch a praying mantis but got beaten up by a kitten who was also trying to catch it.
- thrown radishes at me (I didn't mind - I ate them).
- fallen asleep on the stairs because he couldn't remember where his bed was.
- fallen off his barstool (or would have had his legs not been entwined with the stool's, so that they both fell over like a tree).
- called his boss a fucking bastard.
- tried to get into his car with his front door key.
- been banned from driving for 12 months. Eedjit. Wilberforce (the car in question) therefore held too many bad memories, so he gave it to my mum and got himself a new car, which he calls Wilf.

Also, my mum once got drunk and bought my dad a box of mounted beetles (oo-er) as a present. He still has them.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 14:00, Reply)