Teenage Mutant Ninja Fuckwit
1990, 15, Youth group just before the adults turned up, brand new stretch jeans, brand new HUGE trainers. TMNT is the latest and greatest, ane we are all Donatello-ing to our hearts content. As one of my mates was a kickboxer and I had talked with him about the deadly arts, I decided that I was more than competent to take things to the next level. I attempted a jumping spinning kick (think a real Van Damme knockout end of the movie job), but managed to mess the jump up completely. I usually blame the shag pile carpet combined with 40lb trainers with super grippy soles - it is better than the ghastly uncoordinated truth. The spin, all 360 degrees was executed perfectly and finished with a bang, literally. My left kneecap was now behind my knee. I said 'Oh my god, I've dislocated my knee' in a very stoic fashion, then fainted.
Four hours later, I am waving the nitrous oxide around as the ambulance guys cut me out of my jeans to splint my leg, telling one lady in particular I loved her and screaming alternately. Oh the shame.
(I am the infinite monkey!, Thu 2 Sep 2004, 17:28, Reply)